This article is going to cover a range of topics including rape and sexism. It’s going to make people uncomfortable; I’m uncomfortable writing it, and it’s about me. People are going to learn some things about me that very few people know. This is hard for me to write, this is pain that I have been actively trying to cope with for years. Some of you are not going to like this article because it’s going against Trump. You don’t have to continue reading, in fact, I encourage you to stop here. This article doesn’t matter to you, much like the facts do not. You are still going to support him, but I want to remind you that you are not only supporting him but you are supporting men like Brock Turner as well. By dismissing Donald Trump’s comments about grabbing women by their genitals and kissing whoever he wants without consent, you are dismissing over 17.7 million other women and me. Do not tell me that you support sexual assault survivors if you’re going to wave your “Make America Great Again” hat in my face.

I am a rape victim. When I was sixteen years old my boyfriend at the time wanted to get more physical, and that was something that I wasn’t particularly interested in. I wanted to wait things out, see how our feelings grew. We were friends before the relationship began, good friends even. I still felt some disconnect with him. There were plenty of things I didn’t know about him and some things he wasn’t too sure about with me either. We didn’t get to spend a lot of time together because he was a few years older than me and went away to school. We talked on the phone every night, and although there was quite the distance between us, I still felt close to him. I thought he loved me. Of course, I was happy and had all these lovely thoughts of us, but this was all before things got dark for us.

This particular boyfriend has been mentioned in previous articles for his physical and emotional abuse. I talked about the rape, though. I never mentioned him screaming at me to take my pants off, or forcing himself on me in his father’s basement. The physical abuse was and still is hard to talk about, but the sexual abuse is something that I have never been able to discuss openly. I mentioned it to very few people, and some people dismissed it because he was my boyfriend. “Boyfriends can’t rape their girlfriends. There’s automatic consent in a relationship.” There isn’t. Boyfriends can sexually assault their girlfriends, and girlfriends can sexually assault their boyfriends. Just because someone is dating you doesn’t mean they can put their hands on you.

Just because you’re famous does not mean you could touch anyone you want without consent, Donald. Just because you’re a star swimmer at Stanford does not mean you could rape an unconscious woman, Brock. Just because I was, his girlfriend does not mean that my ex could force himself onto me whenever he wanted. This kind of entitlement needs to stop. No one is entitled to anything, especially not another person’s body. No more of this boys will be boys bullshit; boys will be held accountable for their actions. I don’t care who your father is, what school you go to, your GPA, or your sport. I don’t care that you can’t eat steak anymore. I can’t even comfortably shower or walk by myself. I am a young woman that will be living the rest of my life in fear, this is my definition of suffering.

Yes, I am someone’s daughter, sister, and aunt. Most importantly, I am a human being, and I was treated with one of the worst forms of disrespect. I don’t want to be looked at as somebody’s daughter who was raped. I am somebody that was attacked by someone that I trusted. It doesn’t matter who I am with who. What matters is that I don’t feel safe walking down the street, or being home alone, or waiting out in the car. I feel as though when people try to advocate sexual assault awareness, they focus quite a bit on the families of the victims by saying things like “she’s someone’s daughter.” Isn't being human being enough incentive not to rape me or to not grab young girls by their vaginas?

Sexual assault is not locker room talk. One of my closest friends is an athlete, and do you know what they talk about in his locker room? They talk about Netflix, pizza, and classes they’re taking. They talk about their families, and what they want to do one day, and plan out how they’re going to play their sport. They don’t brag about hurting women. They don’t brag about doing whatever they want to whoever they want. My ex boyfriend didn't brag about it his volleyball team about what he did to me because I’m sure if he did one of them would have punched him in the face. Their coach would have caught wind of it and said something. Something could have been done about it.

I know a lot of you reading this article are thinking about how I haven’t mentioned Bill Clinton. Well, he isn’t running for president first of all. Second of all, he has done some atrocious things and disrespected many women, his wife included. He paid a hefty price and apologized to the nation. What Bill Clinton has done is shameful, and I do not support this, but you cannot criticize Bill and praise Trump at the same time. If you are willing to place blame on Bill Clinton for his actions in his presidency, then you damn well better place blame on Trump for his treatment of women and young girls.

I am strong, but I am tired. I am tired of living in pain and so sick and tired of living in fear. When I was hurt in the way that I was, a part of my soul had died that night. I have not been the same since the events took place and I never will be able to recover fully. I am always going to feel dirty and tainted. It’s always going to hurt, no amount of therapy or medication is going to take away my memories. It’s something that you learn to live with, and this is not the lifestyle I want my children to have. My children will know that everyone will be held accountable for their actions, and they do not have to accept abuse from anybody. My children will treat people with respect and understand consent. I never want them to experience the pain that I feel, and I never want them to inflict this kind of suffering on anyone.

Every two minutes, an American gets sexually assaulted. On average, there are 288,820 victims of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States. This statistic is not locker room talk; this is the world that we live in and we need to repair it. Teach your children what consent is. Hold your kids, athletes, and presidential candidates accountable for their words and their actions. Do you want to make America great again? Stop brushing these things off as Trump saying mean things. Sexual assault is more than words.