On Wednesday, my day is finally here. To get up on the witness stand in court. It has been over eight months since I was raped, and today was only the beginning of a case that is going to trial. We had a something called a preliminary hearing, where the prosecutor presents evidence to the court, and thereafter the judge decides if there is sufficient evidence enough to send the case further in the court system. Today we won, and he is held to answer for his rape charges. We are maybe not even halfway done with my case, but I see Wednesday’s event as a victory. I felt like I took my power back, and in the evening I celebrated with pizza and a six-pack of beer.

My preliminary hearing has been continued (postponed) closer to 10 times. I do not even have the count anymore. I was really nervous before I went on the stand. I had been preparing myself for to most brutal questions I could think of to be questioned about. It was not that bad as all. To be honest, for me, it has been worse waiting and getting my “prelim” continued so many times. To be disappointed time after time, knowing I would have to come back to court to probably be disappointed again.

On Wednesday when I sat on the stand it was surrealistic. I barely believed that it finally was happening. It felt like Christmas, and when I was done I had a really good feeling. It was tickling inside my whole body. I was so proud of myself, for being so patient, and confident under my questioning. I knew that as long as I told the truth – the defense could not fuck me up. They tried with several stupid questions like “would you say that you had been drinking yourself to the level of intoxication that night?”. Instead of answering, because the answer was obvious I would ask the defense attorney back what his definition of intoxication was. They also asked me if I have had episodes with “blackouts” before. My district attorney objected the questions, while the defense attorney would try to rephrase his question to get me to finally answer it. What someone sees as a blackout can also be different from person to person. He never really got the answer he wanted on that question.

I nailed it! I felt so confident being on the stand telling the truth. What sucks the most is that you only can answer stupid questions and not tell your story your own way up there. One thing is for sure, and that is that I am one step closer to getting justice. Just calling my perpetrator a rapist on the stand, in front of at least 17 people, felt so good. It was my time to say it out loud while people where listening. I did not have to keep quiet anymore.

There was three reporters in the court room. Here’s a link to what is published so far from Wednesday's prelim.