It is a beautiful day, you and your friend are hanging out at the park. Suddenly, they get hungry and start to force you to eat a burger. Even though you continuously say "no" or "I'm not hungry," they keep doing it. If this sounds crazy, absurd and completely unnecessary to you, it should be easy to understand in terms of rape, right? Apparently not. According to RAINN or Rape, Abuse & Incest National network, every two minutes an American is sexually assaulted. One in six women and one in thirty-three men have been a victim of attempted or completed rape. Those numbers are chilling. Think about it, your neighbor, friend or even a classmate could have been affected. Why is this? What is happening to our society?

Throughout time, humans have always had a thirst for power. Be it Stalin, Hitler, Napoleon or Cleopatra, being or feeling powerful is such an important part of human history. This internalized thirst is still present today in our society and can be (not so surprisingly) found in rapists. When somebody decides to rape another human being, there is typically a sense of power that they feel. According to an article on Psychology Today, there are four types of rapists. Type one is an impulsive person who is influenced by sexual arousal occurring when they have thoughts of violence against others. Type two have cognitive distortions and believe that people like or genuinely want to be raped. Date rapists are typically type two. Type three is the most violent and dangerous of all four types, these people have anger and emotional dyscontrol and want to take out their anger on others, sexually. Type four are the repeat offenders, typically abuse victims as small children and have difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships, creating problems in their school, work or family lives. Understanding these behaviors is the first step to take when trying to stop sexual assault. Although this information is just a small tidbit into the psychology of humans, just remember that not all rapists and abusers are 'creepy old men,' they usually are people that you know and are close with. I'll be honest, this is scary information. The idea that there is a psychology behind criminals, that they could be anyone you know is terrifying. However, Kent State associate professor, Gordon Nagayama Hall, Ph.D., said these psychological studies are helpful for prevention saying, "we will not only be able to design more effective treatments, but may be able to help prevent sexual aggression from occurring so frequently."

Rape has plagued our world for many thousands of years. However,a recent rape case brought people together to fight for justice. Brock Turner, a student at Stanford University was found on top of an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. This case sparked outrage after he victimized himself and got a very short sentence. His father, Dan Turner, claimed that Brock shouldn't have to suffer so much for "20 minutes of action." Those "20 minutes of action" caused a woman immense trauma and pain. She will never be able to sleep, eat, talk or see the world in the same way ever again. As I read many other survivor stories, my heart clenched. The victims used many words to describe their feelings during the heinous acts of violence toward them. Hopelessness, worthless, lost, confused, scared, used, hurt and angry were among the typical words used. Phrases such as "worst day of my life" or "felt disgusting and blamed myself" were also common. These stories were painful to read and I cannot imagine the amount of pain those victims went through. I actually know and am very close to somebody that has been through several instances of sexual assault. I still remember when they told me about it all and the rage in my body was uncontrollable. How could anyone hurt my friend when they did nothing wrong? How dare they ruin my friend's life and continue to live happily and free when their victim is still trying to get over the trauma many years later? These rape stories are often swept away by society since it is such a taboo topic. Gender roles have told boys it's OK for them to hurt girls to feel more masculine. Dress codes teach everyone that a woman's shoulder can apparently sexually frustrate a boy (but none of the guys I know get turned on by my shoulders, so maybe they're blind or something) and having sex with her can help relieve that frustration. Nobody is entitled to sex, even if you're dating or married. Nobody is allowed to touch others unless they were given consent. Don't play dumb and say you didn't know, because you did. If somebody is unconscious and unresponsive, that is a loud no. If somebody says "no" or "stop" then it is not OK to proceed. If you are getting down and dirty and all of a sudden, somebody changes their mind, stop doing the do. No matter how far you are, once they say no, you are done, you are out. If you or your partner has had some fun juice (also known as alcohol), don't do anything. even if both of you agreed while sober, things could change while drunk.

But here's the bottom line. Don't rape. Stop teaching kids not to get raped, start teaching them not to rape. Stop telling young girls that they can't wear certain clothes because it proves that they are "asking for it." Stop telling boys that they can't be sexually assaulted and even if it did happen, it was irrelevant. Stop making boys feel like rape is a way to prove masculinity. Stop promoting rape culture. Stop giving power and attention to the attackers. Talk about consent. Don't let society's taboos prevent sex ed talks. Stop making excuses, stop lying and just don't do it. It's scary being told at college orientations that so many people get raped. It isn't fun fearing for my safety on a daily basis. I don't like being afraid to walk alone at night. I see so many videos and cases about rape and it honestly scares me. I don't like being restricted in what I do because somebody might rape me. I don't like not knowing what people's intentions are. I don't like hearing that 'boys are boys.' Unfortunately too many rapists get away because they 'didn't mean it' or 'weren't thinking straight.' Stop disregarding victims and shoving them deeper into a dark hole. Listen to the victim, help them in their time of need and maybe, just maybe we can stop this once and for all. Just remember, everything means "no" unless you hear an explicit "yes."

But for those that need some extra help, let me make this super simple: stop trying to shove burgers down each other's throats, conscious or not, nobody likes it.

If you or anyone you know needs help, go to this site and you can find many resources to help you get through your situation. Stay strong, it will be OK.

National Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors and their Loved Ones