I have chosen to stay quiet through the Brock Turner case, the University of Virginia scandal, and the very apparent truth of rape culture. Enough. I have had enough denial, victim blaming, and enough of this double standard.
I want to make it known that women are not the only ones who are raped. That we are not the only gender who is hurt, tormented, and forced to live in fear; that an average of 36.1 percent of men have reported sexual violence during their lifetime. However, there is still a discrepancy between genders: one in five women and one in 71 men are raped at some point in their lifetime.
Let us focus on the one in five women. The one in five women who are living in fear, who have lost trust in the people around them, who cry themselves to sleep, who now have trouble being in meaningful relationships, all because someone decided that their sexual desires, their violent release, or their satisfaction was more important than another human being.
So what do we do? How do we protect our women? We blame the victim, her outfit, how much she drank, how she was flirting, how she shouldn’t have gone out by herself, and what do we tell the rapist? “You shouldn’t rape people.” OK. I wasn't aware that we have to teach someone not to rape; that we have to explain that it’s wrong to force yourself onto others. We have to educate them that “no, you are not entitled to this woman’s body because of what she’s wearing or if you're flirting,” that no, you do not have sex with someone who is too intoxicated to give physical or verbal consent. I didn’t realize that telling someone “no” wasn’t enough.
So, what’s the point? Why am I writing this piece? Is it to complain about society? A little. But that’s not all of it, I’ve noticed that society doesn’t acknowledge rape culture, we refuse to accept its existence, so it continues to exist. We take misogyny in everything, from casual conversation to media, we accept degrading women and assume hyper-sexuality of men as the norm.
I figured a list of examples where rape culture plays into our society would be helpful in accepting its existence and finally moving towards a solution.
- Supporting athletes who are charged with rape and giving them lenient sentences because of just “20 minutes of action”
- Sexual assault prevention education programs that focus on telling women what to do to avoid rape rather than telling people not to rape (which again, why do we have to do that?)
- Publicly defending celebrities accused of rape.
- Women not feeling safe when walking the streets at night.
- Politicians that advocate rape by saying that rape is a “pursuit of sexual freedom”
