There's nothing quite like American Horror Story to get you in the mood for Halloween, and this Netflix Nerd (patent pending) has made it an autumn tradition to re-watch every season of Ryan Murphy's master spookfest in all its deliciously morbid, shocking glory.

To kick off what will become a SERIES, I will rank each of the characters, season by season, from worst to best ("best" not meaning "morally sound," but most compelling). This week, we look at the season that started it all... American Horror Story: Murder House (2011). CONTAINS SPOILERS.

13. Patrick (Teddy Sears)

The cheating boyfriend of Chad Warwick, and one of the many ghostly former residents of the Murder House. "Who is JungleJim4322@yahoo.com?" Enough said.

12. Marcy (Christine Estabrook)

It's hard not to feel sorry for the poor real estate agent saddled with selling a house that churns out nothing but dead bodies. Arguably, she never did anything wrong, but she was never particularly exciting.

11. Dr. Ben Harmon (Dylan McDermott)

Although it appears he had some vague moral compass, Ben was a womanizing hypocrite. Between repeatedly cheating on his wife with (and allegedly impregnating) his 21-year-old student and preaching his psychobabble at anyone who dared to call him on it, Ben's only real redemption was that he did seem to genuinely love his family.
Best Line: "The worst kind. You're charismatic and compelling and a pathological liar. But don't listen to me; I'm a total fraud. And by the way, therapy doesn't work."

10. Vivien Harmon (Connie Britton)

I feel most hate towards the late Mrs. Harmon is misplaced. She was thrown into a terrible situation, and behaved the way anyone would under the same circumstances. Between moving across the country after suffering a miscarriage, being terrorized by her husband's unstable mistress, and unwelcome greetings from the ghosts, Vivien's hysterics were understandable.
Best Line: "I'm not punishing you, you narcissistic asshole!"

9. Dr. Charles & Nora Montgomery (Matt Ross & Lily Rabe)

There was something enticing about how fantastically twisted the original owners of Murder House were. Nora was bitter and angry, and Charles created the Infantata.

8. Larry Harvey (Denis O'Hare)

No one does "creepy" quite like Denis O'Hare.
FUN FACT: "Larry Harvey" is also the name of one of the co-founders of... wait for it... the BURNING MAN Music Festival. Larry Harvey on the show is covered in gruesome burn scars from being lit on fire, making him quite literally "the burning man."

7. Hayden McClaine (Kate Mara)

For my fellow House of Cards fans, it was weirdly satisfying seeing the serious Zoe Barnes go no-holds-barred, crazy. As Ben's former student-turned-homewrecking mistress, Hayden was a physical reminder that actions have consequences.
Best Line: "I MATTER!"

6. Violet Harmon (Taissa Farmiga)

Violet was equal parts witty, tragic, and heartbreakingly human. Something about Taissa Farmiga (who was only 16 during filming) just seemed like she belonged in the House.
Best Line: "I love you, but I can't forgive you."

5. Chad Warwick (Zachary Quinto)

Another murdered former resident of the house who brought a new degree of unhinged sadism and snarky malice to every scene. Also, I just love Zachary Quinto.
Best Line: "Oh, I'm quaking in my loafers. What are you gonna do? Murder me?"

4. Adelaide "Addie" Langdon (Jamie Brewer)

It's hard not to have your heart break for Addie. Given her family, she never really had a chance.

3. Tate Langdon (Evan Peters)

Make no mistake: I am not one of the crazed female viewers who insist on romanticizing a dead mass murderer, but that doesn't mean Tate wasn't arguably the most haunting (get it?) character a show based on shock and fear has turned out. Played to godless perfection by Evan Peters, Tate Langdon exemplified AHS's ability to make even the worst monsters seem somehow human. Tate was introduced as the ghostly grunge Romeo of every angsty emo girl's dreams- only to be slowly, horrifingly revealed as the darkest, most deranged character on television. I wanted to believe in the twisted teenage love story between him and Violet as much as the next girl, but let's not forget that Tate was a mass murderer, rapist, and bona fide psychopath. And, to quote Dr. Ben Harmon, "a psychopath, by definition, does not feel remorse."
Best Line: "Hi, I'm Tate. I'm dead. Wanna hook up?"

2. Moira O'Hara (Frances Conroy, Alexandra Breckenridge as Young Moira)

I absolutely LOVED the concept of Moira. The murdered former maid, she appears as a young beauty (the state in which she died) to men, but as an old spinster to women (the age she would be if she were still alive).
Best Line: "I'm not naive to the ways of men. Their need to objectify, conquer. They see what they want. Women, however, see the true nature of a person."

1. Constance Langdon (Jessica Lange)

Let's face it, #JessicaLangeIsQueen and American Horror Story will never be the same without her signature snide one-liners and all-encompassing screen presence.
Best Line: "Don't make me kill you again."