When I say this, I don’t disregard what makes men and women great or unique in their respective ways, I’m talking about fundamental lessons that you teach them when they’re young; like things about the world and how you treat the people in it.
There is a popular shirt that has this sentence emblazoned on it, so recently I cut out a stencil and spray painted my own one of a kind shirt with the saying. My parents were a little skeptical when they saw it.
“That probably goes against some people's beliefs," my mom prodded, “What are you going to say if someone confronts you about it and they don’t like it?”
This is me trying to explain why I believe in this shirt and this belief.
When I say this, I think about respect and fairness. I hope I live to see a world where an insult synonymous with weak or scared isn’t “girl." Where teasing or being mean isn’t taught as “Oh, they just have a crush on you!” Where crying isn’t a sign of weakness but a human act regardless of gender. Where “be a man” doesn’t mean proudly closeting any display of emotions and putting up a falsified tough front.
I want to live in a world where colors don’t correspond to genders.
I feel that in a world where boys and girls are raised with the same fundamentals, there would be much less fear and shame. I dream of a world where loving whoever you love is never something to be ashamed of.
I dream of this world because gender stereotyping can be so harmful.
So much blood has been shed because people didn’t feel like they lived up to what they were supposed to be, or on the flip side, because they saw too much entitlement in the roles they thought they had.
A big piece that stems from this way of thinking is how the lessons we teach children create a mold for how they act as they grow up.
When we see people committing horrible acts in the news or bigotry in our society, where does it stem from? How they were raised.
Boys shouldn’t be taught that women are prizes or objects they somehow deserve or are entitled to. They should be taught that women are humans with feelings who deserve to be treated with respect, just like them.
Girls shouldn’t be raised aiming to get married, as if being a single woman is an incomplete thing. I want to go to a family gathering and not be asked "Do you have a boyfriend?" and being heard, "Don't worry, you'll find someone."
Girls shouldn’t be taken at face value.
In the words of Rupi Kaur, "I want to apologize to all the women I have called beautiful before I’ve called them intelligent or brave. I am sorry I made it sound as though something as simple as what you’re born with is all you have to be proud of when you have broken mountains with your wit. From now on I will say things like you are resilient, or you are extraordinary not because I don’t think you’re beautiful, but because I need you to know you are more than that."
The phrase is great in terms of providing children equality of opportunity and encouragement regardless of gender, but parents need to also be sensitive to the notion that both genders have their own unique experiences that come with them.
Toys have been making moves and so many kids like to defy stereotypes with them, but some still perpetuate notions of what boys and girls should do respectively. Toys should allow children to explore their potential and interests. Get rid of gender specific aisles and toys at "McDicks."
It’s hard for parents to go the equality route because there’s pressure from family and friends and just society around them.
Equality? Every child is raised differently, no two the same.
