Welcome to the life of a gay man! Many of you may think thoughts along the lines of, "but, in New Jersey gay people are treated as equals", or "I thought the civil rights movement was over". These things are true, but I just wanted to give you all the inside scoop. There is a popular saying about "seeing the world through rose colored glasses" this saying implies that someone is very optimistic and cheerful. This is the view through my rainbow colored glasses. I hope you are ready to dive into life as a gay man.

In the world we live in today it is amazing how the LGBT+ community is treated legally, but there are still some flaws in how society treats us and how some of us feel. I am happily in a relationship with a wonderful guy and it has changed my perspective on everything.

When I was single, the world viewed me as someone who was just acting gay. I was so feminine and people were amazed in the way I didn't dress flamboyantly or how I actually had guy friends. Every guy that I ever hung out with was questioned or inquired about to make sure that I wasn't secretly being a slut in my free time with every guy that came into my life. I worried all the time because I solely relied on dating apps and online dating to find someone to be with, and this alone had its own negative connotation. Online dating was basically my only option because it's hard to decipher if someone else is gay or bisexual, so I couldn't simply wander around and flirt with whoever I wanted for fear of upsetting a super masculine straight man and getting yelled at or physically assaulted for simply telling someone they were hot and asking for their number. This may not seem like much, but it is a lot of mental turmoil for someone who is just trying to feel normal.

Fortunately, I met a great guy through Tinder and I am so happy to have finally found someone who cares about me and that I truly enjoy being around. He is such a great boyfriend and I thought that being in a relationship would change my worries about how the world viewed me. This was not the case though. Instead, being in a relationship has brought about a whole new set of worries. Now everyone asks all these different questions that just make you overthink everything. For example, "when you go out on a date, who pays?", "who proposes to who?", and other intimate questions about your personal life that no one should really ask anyone.

Another concern is holding hands with my boyfriend in public. We are reluctant to do so in fear of someone becoming enraged and yelling at us. The society we live in claims that they are so accepting and that everyone is equal, but if we have to live in fear over holding hands, is that equality?

I didn't write this to try to make anyone feel bad for the LGBT+ community, but to raise awareness of how I at least see the world, through my rainbow colored glasses.