I don't know about you, but I for one am sick of hearing the same songs on the radio. It has gotten to the point where I can predict the song that is going to come on next. Now, don't get me wrong, they are all really good songs and I loved them when I first heard them. But after hearing them over and over again, I would rather drive in silence. The radio can ruin music to the point where the song goes from a jam to "I would rather jam my head against this steering wheel right now." So for all those like me, who try to avoid the text message that tells you your monthly data plan is up and that you can't use Spotify, I give you a before and after review of the many songs that "hit" radio stations have ruined.
1. "One Dance" Drake
Before: What else would you expect when Drake dropped an album? It was on fire. 'One Dance' specifically left you wanting to do nothing more than just get up and dance. Trust me, many of my dance breaks were to this song during finals week. I just couldn't get enough...
After: ... or at least, this is what I thought. First off, what is the lady saying in the background. "Baby, I like your stove ... touch ... style?" Trust me I have heard it all, and have yet to figure it out. After hearing the song so many times, Drake begins to sound whiny and annoying. I'm sorry Drake, you may have a hit, but now I am left with frustration and boredom. I thought he only needed one dance.
2. "Love Yourself" Justin Bieber
Before: Yes Justin! I give him so much credit for opening up and telling it like it is. The song was definitely a different sound for Justin. I was a huge fan of the polite way of saying F*** you! It was that song that just made you want to go back to all your exes and shove it in their face ...
After: ...or annoying the hell out of them by playing it on replay. Justin, you sound so monotone. Thank you radio for overplaying it to make me realize that there is probably another side to the story. Stop complaining! Also, we get it, the song is a dig at Selena Gomez along with the rest of the album. Can we all just move on and stop playing this song on the radio already?
3. "Cheap Thrills" Sia
Before: Finally, a Sia song that I can understand or at least doesn't force me to go into my English major mode to decipher. It's just a feel good song that proves you don't need all the money to have fun, which is very relatable if you're broke like me. Just rock with it, dance with it girl ...
After: ...Chitty bong bong? I'm sorry, I did not know I was listening to "Grease" ('Always be together'). All I can picture while listening to this song three times in one commute is that little dancer girl in the blonde wing (Maddie Ziegler) that is in all of Sia's videos. She low-key scares me, as Sia's "art" once again leaves me clueless. Once again, you almost had me Sia, but the radio made me overthink it. I do admit that I love cheap thrills, but they do not include listening to this song another time.
4. "Gold" Kiiara
Before: There's a new artist to the hit list, and she is killing it. The obscure lyrics pull you in, at least I think that's what they are, and they keep you listening with the base drop. Overall, it's a chill song that will leave you swaying to the beat...
After: ...or tensing up with anger as you are try to make it stop and change the station ASAP. The beat is what traps you, but, once again, thank you hit radio for making me ... excuse me ... forcing me to listen to the actual lyrics. "I missed you in the basement, but your brother was a good substitute." That's a little nasty; after all, they're brothers. I'm sure there are plenty of other eligible "substitutes" at the party. Secondly, if you are "not gonna leave the party without ever letting him know," maybe you should let him know about the brother situation.
5. "Work From Home" Fifth Harmony
Before: Fifth Harmony came out of their young, more innocent shell with a provocative song that has you feeling yourself. Slay ladies! Very pop-like, but has an edge to the beat that draws your attention...
After: ...which is followed with an annoying squeak that is played in the background of the ENTIRE song. Someone pointed it out to me, and that was when it was all over. But that good ol' radio makes sure that my relationship with this song continues ... every ... five ... minutes.
6. "Work" Rhianna
Before: The ultimate song to get that booty moving (if you're good at that stuff, unlike me). Rihanna brings you the ultimate dance song to show everyone what you've got. The song isn't really over until you are sweating from giving it your all...
After: Correction: the song never seems to end. The repeated words in the song also never seem to end. I think she ran out of ideas and decided to fill up time when she turned her lyrics into the beat. I mean how many times can you say the words 'work' or 'line' in one song. Congrats Rihanna, I believe ... I know that your song is surely the world record.
7. "Panda" Desiigner
Before: I first heard Panda at a party. Inevitably, for the rest of that month it was one of those songs during which I gave my friend the "this is our jam" look from across the room. Thereafter we'd break out in choreographed dance together. When I heard it at a dance party, it was definitely a favorite ...
After: ... but the radio is another story. When I listen to the radio in the car, I have very limited room to dance so I just listen. Trust me I listened to "Panda" more times than I can count. Why are you singing about Pandas? Not only that, why to you think saying the word Panda is funny? Quit laughing. Its getting old, and so is listening to the radio.
