Sometimes, in the heat of the moment you let the n-word slip with your friend. Or you call someone who you think was not born here an illegal, because you think your African-American or foreign friend won't mind, because they know you "don't mean it like that". Most of the time, if they're like me, they'll brush it off and move on, sometimes not acknowledging the hurtful words that came out of your mouth.

Just because you have friends that fall into different racial and ethnic groups does not mean you are allowed to make racist remarks.

Having culturally and racially diverse friendships does not give you a get-out-of jail-free card when it comes to being racist. Your actions and words are still hurtful and have a impact on the way others will act. Lets put it this way - if you say things like that to your friend, it provokes other people who are not their friends to say the same things. It's the same reason that parents don't swear near their children so that the child doesn't acquire that learned behavior. That racist remark you made about the man who doesn't speak English can be overheard and misinterpreted as "not a big deal" by someone else.

People are not born racist, they are taught to be racist. But don't let that be your excuse. It is the twenty-first century. If you're an adult, you know that the things you say have repercussions, and you know exactly what your words mean when you say them. I'm not talking about the 11 year-old kid that says the n-word at recess because all his friends say it, and I'm not talking about the 9 year-old that overheard his parents call his friend an illegal and repeated it back to her the next day at school. Those kids will learn when they get older that it's not okay to say things like that, whether their parents teach them or they learn through life the hard way.

I'm talking about the twenty or thirty-something year olds that still feel the need to stereotype people based on their nationality and their color, or use the n-word, or call someone illegal. Don't make excuses. You DO know better. I don't care if your mom, grandmother, uncle, or even the pope says it. You know what you're saying.

You have a mind of your own, no one thinks for you. You know that just because you grew up in a household or a town where making certain comments had no repercussions does not mean you can say "I grew up with people saying these things, I didn't know better." Instead of making excuses as to why it should be okay for you to make racist remarks, just stop. Bite your tongue. If I can do it when you're saying hurtful things so I don't lose my shit, you can do it too.

We know you mean no harm, but stop.