About a year ago, I made the decision to go vegan. I had spent the majority of my first year of college experimenting with pescatarianism, vegetarianism, etc. and I was ready to take the plunge into veganism once and for all. So, on my last day of school, I began to do just that.
Over the Summer, my family and I tried a bunch of new recipes and vegan restaurants in the area. I was seriously enjoying this plant-based lifestyle and everything it had to offer me.
In late August, I returned back to school, excited to live in a dorm with a kitchen so I could continue to make my favorite meals throughout the year. I brought along tons of kitchen equipment with me; pots, pans, spatulas, and more.
I was thought I was entirely ready to be a "vegan college student."
However, throughout the year, I noticed that it was becoming difficult for me. Like most students, I live on a seriously tight budget throughout the school year.
Although it is much cheaper to grocery shop when your list consists of primarily fruits and vegetables, it became a constant routine of having to take the shuttle to the grocery store almost every week. With the extremely limited options available in the cafeteria, unless I want to eat salad for every single meal, I was faced with having to make my own meals most of the time.
This brings me back to the kitchen situation. Yes, there was a kitchen in my dorm, however, it was a floor up from my room, which meant I had to lug all of my pots and pans up and down the stairs each time I wanted to cook. Not to mention that the kitchen was almost constantly in use by other students, making the space crowded and stressful.
So, in this case, I decided that the kitchen wasn't really going to work out in my favor like I had anticipated at the beginning of the year. So my only other option was to eat what my school had to offer, which was literally only salad or try to put a balanced meal together with the random snacks I had in my room.
Not to mention, this constant intake of high-fiber foods (like vegetables) every single day was taking a serious toll on my stomach, causing me to feel sick most of the time.
I don't have to tell you that college food is not the most enjoyable stuff in the world. Each time I went to the cafeteria, the vegan option was either not appetizing, or suffered some type of cooking error (under-cooked rice, I'm looking at you).
Therefore, pretty much every meal I eat at school is salad. I try to throw what I can on top, but the options are super inconsistent, constantly lacking in vegan protein sources which is honestly annoying.
As I was faced with these constant trials in my life as a vegan student, I began to reconsider why I really wanted to live this lifestyle. I watched all the documentaries, read the articles, and followed the influential vegans on social media.
But when I really thought about it, I know that a part of me only wanted to be vegan for reasons unrelated to animal rights.
I struggled with an eating disorder during the last year of high school and throughout much of my freshman year of college. In fact, I still struggle with it now, as recovery is a long, strenuous process.
So, when a vulnerable, struggling girl discovered a new "diet" where she could have a reason to say no to any meat and dairy products, it was like a miracle.
Of course, I did my own research on the topic and found out just how terrible the meat and dairy industry are for both the environment as well as the animals' well-being.
While I am passionate about animals and how they are treated, I had to give myself a huge reality check and recognize that, although I do care, I'm not doing this for all of the right reasons.
At this point in my life, veganism is not sustainable in order for me to be healthy and fully recover from my eating disorder.
On May 11, it will be officially one entire year since I went vegan. But after many long, honest conversations with friends and family, I've decided that it's not a lifestyle I can continue to pursue at this point in my life. I'm devoted to being vegetarian for the rest of my life, as I've always found meat a bit repulsive, to be honest.
Perhaps one day in the future, when I'm out of school and have a grip on my mental and physical health, I will consider veganism again.
But I think it's really important to think about the reasoning behind our dietary decisions. If you're eating a certain way that does not feel sustainable to you, it might be time to think about making a change.
If you can see yourself eating a certain way, and enjoying it, for the rest of your life, by all means - do it! But if you're not 100% enjoying it, and it feels more like something you have to rather than what you want to do, don't feel embarrassed to admit that you'd like to try something different.
Nobody should feel like they are required to eat a certain way. In my opinion, life is so short, so we should eat what makes us happy and what makes us feel good.