“nah, it’s fine”

“don’t worry about it”

“It’s okay”

“You’re good”

How many times have you sent a text like that? How many times has this been your response to someone who apologizes for something? Probably more times than you realize. It’s natural and it’s normal. People do this all the time- and sometimes it makes complete sense.

Someone bumps into you in the grocery store? It’s okay. Someone accidentally calls the wrong number? It’s all good. Someone gets sick and has to cancel plans? Don’t worry about it, it’s fine!

Sometimes, things really are okay and you don’t mind and that can be transparent. But we have got to stop telling people “it’s okay” when it really isn’t! There is such a fear of confrontation and such content with complacency, we often ignore our concerns for the sake of other people's convenience.

If there’s a need for an “Im sorry”, obviously something took place that hurt feelings, offended, or upset you. And, if thats the case- it isn’t okay. Telling someone it is okay when it really isn’t solves nothing and allows an excuse for the same situation to repeat itself.

So don’t settle for comfort when the comfort is slowing crushing your confidence and drowning you in doubt. If you don’t look out for and stand up for yourself, who will? If something is not okay, then say that. There’s a big difference between “I accept your apology” and “it’s okay”. One shows that you recognize their actions were not okay and the apology was appreciated, and the other shows that the actions never affected us.

Its healthy to accept apologies and forgive, but it isn’t healthy to brush off things that bother you for the sake of someone else’s benefit.