At the age of 18 I was asked to decide my entire future, while only a few months beforehand I had to ask for permission in order to use the restroom. People expect newly young adults, whose brains are still developing, to know what they want to be doing in ten years.They want people who were considered children a year ago to have a set life plan.
When I was a senior in high school, I thought I had everything figured out. I decided that Rutgers Camden would be my home for the next four years.I committed to play lacrosse and was pursuing a degree in the Health sciences , all while I would continue to hold the part time job I have had for the past two years.It was all perfectly planned, until I realized that I had spread myself too thin.I could not handle all of these things at once no matter how hard I tried.So, I had to sacrifice lacrosse, my number one hobby for the past ten years, for the sake of my education. So far, college has been the most difficult part of my life. It is a daunting experience. Everything has been changing so quickly that it is hard to keep up.
After the first lacrosse practice I knew that I was going under, it was like I couldn't breathe. Going from work, to school, to practice became too overwhelming. I was tripping over all these responsibilities wanting someone else to figure it all out for me, but this was something I had to do on my own. No one could save me except for myself. I had to figure out what my end goal was.
It is hard to see the end without having a solid beginning, but I had to do my best to that. When I had quit it felt like a bad break up. I was kicking a ten year habit. I didn't know a life without me being an athlete and it killed me inside. All of this change was getting at me. I was in a new place, with different people and without my number one hobby.I felt lost and alone. All I could do was remind myself why I was here and what I am doing. I am here to prove to everyone that I will earn a college degree and make it to graduate school. I am here to get an excellent education.It was at this time that I realized that I was not proving anything by being an athlete because that’s not what I would be doing with the rest of my life.I had the support of my stubborn father, who did not originally want me to quit, and I had the support of my mother, who thought playing was a bad idea to begin with. Yes, there was a small void in my life but there was also less stress. I had a focus and I was going to pursue that with the best of my ability. Yeah I miss lacrosse every once and awhile, but school could not be any better. I am happy right where I am.
