People come and go. I think I’m old enough at this point to be able to grasp that concept. I haven’t written in awhile and though it may be my passion, it’s a good sign. For me, writing can be used as an outlet. An outlet to anonymously talk shit about someone or a certain situation, admit my feelings when I don’t have the courage to outwardly admit them yet, express my opinion without anyone telling me I’m wrong and, instead, complimenting my talent, and complain about anything shitty in my life. These are usually pretty negative things. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love to use writing as a way to boast and brag about my life as well. But right now, I’m using one of those negative reasons.

Have you ever been doing something when you just stop and think how perfect that moment is? Sorry, that was cheesy and so unlike me. Let me try to rephrase without hating myself for that... When everything in your life has finally lined up and you couldn’t imagine being any more satisfied with the way things are going. Satisfied is an understatement of how I’ve been feeling lately. I’m in good shape, I recently got into an amazing sorority (shout-out Tri-Delta) and am having the time of my life. I love the people in my life and everything that surrounds it. (See, told you I like to use writing to brag).

And then I hit a speedbump. I’m not going to specify, but the end result has left me without a friend. This has happened to me in the past and has prepared me for future losses. However, it’s still a horrible thing to go through.

My best friends from home are the most amazing people I could ever imagine. My squad has been through thick and thin, had each other’s backs in the worst of times, and will spend the rest of our lives continuing this. Going to colleges spread around the country from each other has broken all of our hearts just a little. But the people we’ve met and the friendships we’ve all made in our own new lives have filled the void we feel without each other. With that being said, I’ve met and still am meeting wonderful friends who provide me the same sense of friendship, love, and security as my home friends. As most of them live on my same dorm floor, I can call them my family.

So, an incident happened. And one of those new, wonderful friends made the decision to not return back to school. Time passed. Communication lacked. Rumors flew around. Confrontations occurred.

Now, I’m down a friend. Dealing with loss is easy when I push it to the bottom of my agenda as it takes a backseat to the brighter things going on. But when I have to finally face it and address it as opposed to ignoring it is when I start getting in my feels. I really hate admitting that too. So now I’m writing.

Each person is fighting their own situations. And right now I’m grieving the loss of a friendship that came to a close prematurely. As are the rest of my friends here.

Well, I guess I thank you all for listening to (or reading?) me complain. Hopefully next time it’ll be a happier update.