Being trans is an amazing and life-altering (no-pun intended) experience. As a trans-person, you get to experience two different living perspectives. There are benefits of changing your outward experience to reflect how you see yourself mentally such as a healthier mental and positive outlook. But there are also everyday situations we seem to encounter more than the general population which starts to weigh us down and eventually irritate us. Because we are trans, for some reason that leaves our lives and bodies open to invasive questions from complete strangers.

Having been out personally with most of my friends and family for almost a year now, I am well past the point of that initial awkward first encounters of re-introducing myself as the new me. Back in the earlier months of my transition, I received some unwelcome questions from coworkers and acquaintances.

1. Is this something you are sure about doing?

Okay, I took several rounds of therapy sessions with a therapist experienced with LGBT and gender dysphoria topics as well as consultations with my healthcare provider. I came to this conclusion of changing for the better a long time before I started my medical transition. What's wrong with this question is the downplayed good intentions- this is basically saying "I am aware of the plight of transgender women, do you want to take the risk of being marginalized?"

2. Are you going to get the surgery, or have you had it?

No one, cis or trans, deserves to have their genitalia thrown right out there into conversation. What we have under our clothes is our business and ours alone. We do not need to answer this inappropriate question. How would you feel if someone randomly asked you "What kind of genitalia do you have?" Non-binary identifying people may also dislike this question as they do not want to identify with the two 'normal' gender options of boy and girl.

Also, not all trans-people want to have confirmation surgery- it is incredibly painful, possibly long recovery time, and there is no going back once it is performed. People who choose to go under the knife do it because they are fully aware of the risks and benefits and do it believing the latter outweighs the former. This is the question I personally receive the most and I find it so invalidating and invasive. Again, it is nobody's business but our own so please, do not ask a trans person this line of questioning.

3. If you date men now, does that mean you're gay?

Being gay and trans are two different orientations pal. Gay is a sexual orientation, trans is a gender identity, the two are not always one and the same. Gay men are attracted to people who look and identify as men. I am not a man nor do I identify with one, so why would I be gay? That makes no sense. I identify as a woman (and my legal documents say so as well), I am attracted to the opposite sex which are people who identify as men. So no, I'm not gay because I am straight.

I could go on for pages about how being trans means my sense of privacy is now different according to other people, but these few questions I mentioned are some of the worst. What I hope cis people get out of this is to always ask themselves "How would I feel answering this question?" when they are thinking of posing specific questions to us.