As you know, I love my job more than anything in this world. There are days when I’m going to be either insanely happy or I’m going to be in the worst mood possible, but then again thats completely normal. I’m sure you all have experienced bad days at work, where you deal with impatient people who have the stupidest questions and sometimes you wonder if they even have a brain. Which leads them to ask some of these questions:

A majority of the time I want to give the guests this facial expression:

Or even this:

But lets be realistic here, I work for Disney and I have to answer everything with a smile, so I look like this:

“Do you work here?”

If I had a dollar for every single time someone asked me this question, I could rent out Magic Kingdom for a month. Sometimes I just want my answer to be, “What gave it away? Was it the silly costume that I’m wearing? Or maybe my name tag? Or was it because I was standing behind the counter at the register?”

“Can I pay for this here?”

Again, why? I am currently standing behind the counter at the register. Where else would you pay for something? Or maybe you just thought I would let you walk out of the door with merchandise worth hundreds of dollars.

“Do you ever get sick of going to the parks?”

The answer to this one is simple. No. I will never in my life get sick of going to the parks. What kind of silly question is that? I wish people would ask me something along the lines of “Do you go to the parks as much as you would like to?” The answer to that question will still be no, I don’t go to the parks as much I would like to because I’m constantly working and being asked silly questions on the daily.

“How much are Fast Passes?”

Just so you all know, Fast Passes are free for everyone. You just need to have everyone’s tickets or magic bands in the same place and go from there. I also don’t understand how people come to the parks and don’t make Fast Passes in advance and then complain that they have to wait in long lines.

“Where’s Harry Potter World?”

Are you kidding me? You spent all of this money and you still think that Harry Potter has something to do with Disney? Do your research, fam.

“What time is the 3:00 p.m. parade?”

The 3:00 p.m. parade is actually at 6:30 p.m. ma’am. I know it says 3:00 p.m. on your times guide and your app and I’m sure I’m not the first person you asked. I’m also positive that when you asked this question you were surrounded by people for the 3:00 parade that starts atthree o'clock.

“Can’t you do anything about this weather?”

Oh, I’m sorry you must have forgotten this is Florida in summer. Of course its going to be insanely hot out and you are going to sweat a lot. Complaining to me about how hot it is outside is only going to make matters worse, because unfortunately ma’am there is nothing I can do. But hey, at least you’re wearing shorts and a tank top and having fun. I think you must have forgotten that I’m standing here working in this blazing heat.

“How does this whole standby thing work?

You see this long line here? Yeah, wait in it for the estimated wait time—when you get to the front of the line, it's your turn. I really don’t understand what is so hard to grasp here.

“So, it's my birthday, what do I get for free?”

If you have to ask, you get nothing. I cannot stand this question. I used to get all the time when I worked in food. If you have to ask me what do you get for free on your birthday I will literally just stand there and say happy birthday and give you a sticker. There you go, you are eternally grateful, have fun paying for your Mickey bar!

Me: “Do you have any discounts with us?” Guest “No, but can you use your cast discount on me?”

Let me see, is it worth losing my job so you can get a few dollars off of your transaction? Sorry I’m actually going to have to pass on you. Thanks for trying to think you’re slick though.