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Student Life

30 More Questions I Have for UMass Amherst

Because the 36 questions already asked weren't enough.

Kaylee Crowell

Jan 16, 2017

University of Massachusetts, Amherst

296

UMass

You may have seen 36 Questions I Have For UMass Amherst , but the thing about UMass Amherst is there are so many questions to ask, so here are 30 more:

1. Why is it called syllabus week here? I swear professors go over the syllabus for a hot second and then assign actual work.

2. Why doesn't the Starbucks in Hamp accept Starbucks gift cards?

3. Why are the cereal and soup bowls so tiny in the dining commons?

4. Why isn't the salad bar in Blue Wall always open?

5. Why is Harvest so overpriced (why you gotta make eating healthy even harder?!)

6. Why are the elevators in the dorms (other than the honors college) so god damn slow?

7. Why are so few laundry machines and why half the time they don't even work?

8. Why are dorm temperatures so poorly regulated? You're either sweating balls or shivering with a heated blanket.

9. Why can you only enter the dorms through 1 door when the building has like 5?

10. Why is the process of moving in so inefficient and takes ages?

11. Why don't the doors to Berk open before 11 so instead of patiently waiting inside you must freeze outside?

12. Why don't the 34 buses run on the weekends?

13. Why are the lecture hall desks minuscle and impossible to take exams on?

14. Why do you have to sign into the UMass WiFi every 24 hours?

15. Why are winter courses so expensive?

16. Why are the stairwells of the library so sketchy?

17. Why is there quinoa in legit everything?

18. Why aren't there regulations for bikers or skateboarders like a designated area for them, I swear to god someones gunna be killed by one weaving in between pedestrians?

19. Why is the tap water is actually white?

20. Why are the hand dryers in the dorm bathrooms so terrible?

21. Speaking of the bathrooms, why does the soap in the dorm bathrooms smells so bad?

22. Why is Machmer hall an actually maze and why do they make it more confusing by not only having numbered rooms but also rooms with letters AND numbers?

23. Why are parking spots so expensive?

24. Why do tour guides stop at the most unrelated places to explain things?

25. Why are gen eds necessary? I get taking an elective or two but come on we didn't come here for liberal arts degrees.

26. Why aren't there more comfy chairs in the learning commons?

27. Why do we still use keys to unlock the dorms?

28. Who thought of the idea to have the "phone booths" in the library?

29. Why is the only fruit that's readily offered cantaloupe?...Oh and melon

30. Why would I ever go anywhere else?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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30 More Questions I Have for UMass Amherst

Because the 36 questions already asked weren't enough.

1. Why is it called syllabus week here? I swear professors go over the syllabus for a hot second and then assign actual work.

2. Why doesn't the Starbucks in Hamp accept Starbucks gift cards?

3. Why are the cereal and soup bowls so tiny in the dining commons?

4. Why isn't the salad bar in Blue Wall always open?

5. Why is Harvest so overpriced (why you gotta make eating healthy even harder?!)

6. Why are the elevators in the dorms (other than the honors college) so god damn slow?

7. Why are so few laundry machines and why half the time they don't even work?

8. Why are dorm temperatures so poorly regulated? You're either sweating balls or shivering with a heated blanket.

9. Why can you only enter the dorms through 1 door when the building has like 5?

10. Why is the process of moving in so inefficient and takes ages?

11. Why don't the doors to Berk open before 11 so instead of patiently waiting inside you must freeze outside?

12. Why don't the 34 buses run on the weekends?

13. Why are the lecture hall desks minuscle and impossible to take exams on?

14. Why do you have to sign into the UMass WiFi every 24 hours?

15. Why are winter courses so expensive?

16. Why are the stairwells of the library so sketchy?

17. Why is there quinoa in legit everything?

18. Why aren't there regulations for bikers or skateboarders like a designated area for them, I swear to god someones gunna be killed by one weaving in between pedestrians?

19. Why is the tap water is actually white?

20. Why are the hand dryers in the dorm bathrooms so terrible?

21. Speaking of the bathrooms, why does the soap in the dorm bathrooms smells so bad?

22. Why is Machmer hall an actually maze and why do they make it more confusing by not only having numbered rooms but also rooms with letters AND numbers?

23. Why are parking spots so expensive?

24. Why do tour guides stop at the most unrelated places to explain things?

25. Why are gen eds necessary? I get taking an elective or two but come on we didn't come here for liberal arts degrees.

26. Why aren't there more comfy chairs in the learning commons?

27. Why do we still use keys to unlock the dorms?

28. Who thought of the idea to have the "phone booths" in the library?

29. Why is the only fruit that's readily offered cantaloupe?...Oh and melon

30. Why would I ever go anywhere else?

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For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

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