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34 Questions I Have For Penn State University

"I have a lot of questions. Number one, how dare you?"

Wendy Schneider
May 12, 2020
Pennsylvania State University
66
34 Questions I Have For Penn State University
By Penn State Football on Instagram
I'm a proud Penn Stater. I love my school more than anything; there's truly something for everyone to love. But along with 46,000 other students at UP, I've got a few questions for PSU that really need answering. @PennState got a minute?
  1. Why is the entire campus one big hill?
  2. Is Westside Village slowly trying to take over the university?
  3. What's the Willard Preacher up to rn?
  4. Does he own more than one hoodie?
  5. Are bikers really students or are they secretly Ohio State students trying to get in our heads?
  6. Does Pennsylvania require kids to take a driver's test to get their license? (I wouldn't be able to tell.)
  7. Who names the Creamery flavors?
  8. Can they name my future kids for me?
  9. Are the high-rises getting higher by the day?
  10. Has anyone really ever graduated without a class in Willard?
  11. If the campus is smoke-free, does Forum still count as part of campus?
  12. Who is feeding drugs to the squirrels?
  13. To the police undercover as Uber drivers: why?
  14. And who do you think you are?
  15. And how dare you?
  16. Does the "S" in S Zone stand for State or South?
  17. Did anybody think that giving the Beaver Stadium sections three-lettered names would be helpful?
  18. Who gave chicken baskets the right to be so good?
  19. Will I ever actually be towed when I park in Pollock?
  20. Will I ever be able to find a legal parking spot downtown?
  21. Has anyone counted the number of sidewalks on the Old Main lawn?
  22. What is the sculpture in front of Old Main and can I climb it?
  23. How many years will it take before I can learn the difference between Alumni Hall and Heritage Hall?
  24. How does the Sbarro feel like an entirely different world when you walk in?
  25. Why do I turn into a different person when I go to a football game?
  26. Why do we all turn into the same exact person when we go to a football game?
  27. How many Nittany Lions are there, really? I know there's a conspiracy here.
  28. Is Keegan Michael-Key actually ever back on campus?
  29. If so, where can I find him?
  30. Why do I have to dress every day for snow, rain, and sunshine all at once?
  31. Why are there 14 different coffee shops and only one store that sells umbrellas?
  32. Why is everyone on campus so kind?
  33. How can one place have so much school spirit?
  34. Really, how is Penn State so amazing?



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