A Hard-Hitting Q&A With My 5-Year-Old Niece | The Odyssey Online
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A Hard-Hitting Q&A With My 5-Year-Old Niece

I decided to ask my niece a few questions to see what she'd say. Here's what she said.

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A Hard-Hitting Q&A With My 5-Year-Old Niece
Shaniah Scribe

My niece is one of my most favorite people. She's so funny and crazy, ALL the time. She says the greatest things and so I thought it could be fun to do an interview with her. Some of them aren't quite as funny as I had hoped, but she had some pretty great tangents and some HYSTERICAL questions.

Her thoughts on family:

Q: What is your favorite thing about mommy and daddy?

A: They play with me.

Q: What is your least favorite thing about mommy and daddy?

A: *after a lot of deliberation* I dunno..

Q: What is your favorite thing to do with mommy and daddy?

A: *massive shoulder shrug*

Q: What is your favorite thing about Ryder (her baby brother)?

A: He plays with me.

Q: What do you play?

A: We play "baby" (well, he is one)

Q: What do you like most about Kaya? (the dog)

A: She lets me cuddle with her.


Her thoughts on school:

Q: What do you like most about school?

A: Recess (Amen, child, amen)

Q: What do you like least about school?

A: Lunch (and here I thought she was a girl after my own heart)


Her thoughts on the world:

Q: Do you like Donald Trump?

A: Yes.

Q: Why?

A: I dunno..


Her thoughts on herself:

Q: What's your favorite thing to do?

A: Color pictures of elves

Q: What do you wanna do when you grow up?

A: work at McDonald's to do the frosty's

Q: What's your least favorite thing to do?

A: *weirdest shrug I've ever seen*

Q: What is your favorite movie?

A: Tangled, because I like Repunzals hair


Her: how many questions are you gonna tell me to answer?

Me: A bajillion.


Q: What are your favorite toys?

A: my unicorn because it's hair is purple.


Then she wanted to interview me. and she asked some good questions so I went back and asked her.

Q: What is your favorite food?

Me: Spaghetti

Her: Pizza

Q: What is your favorite animal

Me: Elephant

Her: Monkey because it's brown.

Q: What is your favorite color?

Me: I have three.

Her: I have more than three What are they? Blue, red, and green. I have more than three but I'm not telling you.

Q: What is your favorite candy?

Me: Milk chocolate

Her: Reese's Cups because it's made out of chocolate

*noticeably looks around the room for inspiration*

Q: What do you like most that you can build out of snow? .

A: Hmmm.. (her: it's a hard one) A snow man.

Her: Snow man

Q: What is your favorite dessert?

Me: Cheesecake

Her: Brownies

Q: What is your favorite shape?

Me: Circle

Her: Heart because it's red

Q: What is your favorite number?

Me: Seven

Her: 100

Q: What is your favorite thing in the sky? Or that can be in the sky?

Me: Sunsets

Her: Rainbows because it's colorful

follow up: does it have all your favorite colors? mhmm red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple.. how many colors is that? I think six.. those are all my favorite

Q: What is your favorite thing about your house?

A: the staircase

Her: the floors because I like the shapes of it

Q: oooookay, what is your favorite movie?

Me: Memoirs of a Geisha

Q: What is your favorite story?

Me: Harry Potter

Her: Jack and the Beanstalk because Jack climbs up the Bean stalk.

Me: Okay that's it!

Isabella: I'm gonna ask you more questions. They're gonna be different questions. And hard too. And funny. *starts laughing really hard to herself* You're gonna laugh really hard when you hear this one question. You're gonna laugh so hard it comes out your hair and onto the floor.

Final Interview Questions:

Q: What is your favorite brownie?

Me: brownies with chocolate chips

Her: those ones *points* (chewy fudge brownie)

Q: What is your favorite wall?

Me: I think my bedroom wall

Her: Uh I think MY wall.

Q: What is your favorite bottle?

Me: My favorite bottle? Her: Yeah, baby bottle that you drink out of? Me: What if I don't drink out of a bottle? Her: *sing song voice* Just say your favorite one that you drink out of... when you were a baby. Me: *doesn't answer* Her: ooookay you don't HAVE to answer that one

Her: Uhm *goes and grabs one of her brothers* this one. (plain blue)

Q: What is your favorite bathroom? *laughter than snort*

Me: The bathroom in my apartment at school.

Her: *giggles* Mine. These are funny questions. I told you they would be. And then I'm gonna ask you more. We're each gonna do 100 questions. 100 million and 1. There's traps in the enchanted lakes. This is made up. I made this up myself. To go to the enchanted lake you go on any hill and say, "Mary, Mary had a good time, one by one two by two, and you hold your hands like this and turn around and it'll POOF YOU intro a yard and you go inside the house and eat all the porridge or any food on the table until you're full and then rock on the little chair saying "Mary, Mary what's your name? one by one two by two and eat a cookie. Then you'll be at the lake. but you can't touch it because of the evil witch and the mermaids spells. and there's traps in there. there's little spiky sharp thingys that are purple and look like these and they'll put you under a spell. and they'll make you do whatever you feel like — whoa look at me *has a rubber band stretched around her head and then does evil mermaid impression, "hi I'm evil mermaid"

Follow up question: What is your favorite toilet?

Q: What is your favorite foot?

Me: My right one.

Her: My mom's

Q: What is your favorite pumpkin?

Me: The great pumpkin

Her: Blue

Q: What is your favorite light bulb?

Me: I like the swirly ones

Her: the swirly ones

Q: What is your favorite mouth?

Me: I think my mouth is pretty cool

Her: my dads

Q: What is your favorite ice cream?

Me: Chocolate with peanut butter.

Her: Vanilla

Q: What is your favorite granola bar?

Me: chocolate chip covered in chocolate

Her: Chocolate chip

Q: What is your favorite drink?

Me: Sierra Mist

Her: Orange Punch

Q: What is your favorite girl name?

Me: Sophia Bella: there's a princess named Sophia

Her: Nevaloo (what it sounded like to me)

Me: How do you spell that? Her: Nevle (oops.. I was close)

Her: When is this gonna be done? Me: It can be done right now if you want. Do you want it to be done? Her: No. *gets off chair and crouches under table* "try and find me"

Welp, I guess that's all folks.

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