Most people I know have been on an airplane at least once in their lives. Waiting for the plane to take off, the flight attendants give their usual safety announcement: this is how you work your seat-belt. In case the plane crashes, the closest exit may be behind you. There is probably a life vest under your seat (even though I doubt anyone has actually checked to see if it is there). It seems like a typical announcement until they say: In case of a drop in pressure, put your mask on before assisting others. Why on earth would they tell us to worry about ourselves first? Isn't that against some kind of sacred, social rule we learned in kindergarten? It seems so out of place. We are supposed to help others first, right?
In our society today, we are conditioned into putting others first. Selflessness is preached daily: Share your toys, let your sister have the last piece of cake, volunteer your time to help the needy, etc. As we age, we put other's priorities before our own. We stay up all night to help a friend finish a project when we have an exam the next day. We miss work, school, and all other obligations to comfort a depressed friend. This kind of support has become a societal norm, but is it the right thing to do?
Let's go back to the airplane. Suppose the cabin pressure drops. Suppose the masks fall from above. Suppose you reach for your neighbors mask first, in a desperate attempt to help. Suppose you become extremely dizzy. Suppose you then pass out. Neither you nor your neighbor will be saved. In attempting to help someone else first, we forget to help ourselves. How do we expect to help someone else if at first we are not ok?
How do you expect to be able to support your friend after some traumatic
event, if you are not happy yourself? How do you expect to help someone on a
project if you haven’t slept in 3 days? If you are not ok, then what good does lending a hand do? It does no good for you or for others.
So, why are we taught to be unselfish, to spread yourself so thin? They don’t teach us to love ourselves anymore. I cannot remember a time in elementary school in which we learned how to compliment ourselves, embrace our idiosyncrasies, or self soothe. It is all about everyone else: their happiness, their joy, their love. However, in order to truly love and care for someone, you have to truly love and care for yourself. You are the most important
person in your life. You have known yourself since birth, spent every waking
moment with yourself, know all your deepest darkest secrets, and know yourself better than anyone else. It is ok to put yourself first because you are the most important person in your life. That's the funny thing about society today, we are all worried about everyone else that we forget about ourselves.
What if, instead of donating all of our time to someone or something else, in ordered to be labeled 'caring', 'unselfish', and 'loving', we devoted part of ourselves to, well, ourselves? What if we gave that little bit to ourselves first? If we took some time and allowed ourselves to grow, succeed, and be the best person we could be, imagine the impact we could actually have.
Airliners may be on to something: Help yourself first. Because if you’re not ok, how do you expect to help anyone else?
