Being a friend means being responsible to actually be there to talk and support your friends when they need that comfort the most. We all want to be there for each other through thick and thin, especially in this day and age, but what happens when being that support starts to burden your own mental health? When we can't be there, even when we want to or try to be, because we're dealing with our own problems?
Just as it is not selfish to say no to something, do something for yourself every once in a while, or ask for help, it's also not selfish to take a break for yourself.
Being the person for someone else to dump their problems on is both beneficial and harmful. Yes, you're helping the other person, but it can also take as much as a toll on yourself. If you're struggling with keeping yourself afloat, it is perfectly OK to take a step back and say "hey, I have a lot going on right now, I need a bit of a break." You are not being selfish by putting your mental health first and no one should have to feel like they are being selfish and letting someone down because they have their own issues to deal with, and it doesn't mean you're being any less supportive.
When someone says they need a break to deal with their own issues, they are not saying that you are a burden or that they need a break from your friendship. Instead, they're saying they just need some time to clear their own thoughts before they can help with yours. As someone who would constantly be there for my friends when they needed to talk, sometimes someone else's problems can weigh you down as well.
Taking it so many issues and trying to better them in any way took a toll on me when it wasn't the best time. As much as I felt terrible about saying "hey, I need a break," it was needed and when I felt better, I was right back supporting my closest friends. Sometimes you simply need to put yourself first, and your mental health is no exception,.
We're always told to put our mental health before school and work and sports, but once it goes above our friends, we're suppose to feel ashamed about it even though we're already ashamed of feeling the way we do. We're not less supportive, and we really do care, but sometimes you need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.
