I think the best way to get to know someone is to read their favorite book. One of the most memorable Christmas presents I was ever given was given to me by one of my best friends, and it was my own copies of her two favorite books. I learned more about her in the pages of those books than I had in a year of sitting next to her in class and sucking down countless cups of coffee after school. I still find myself re-reading them from time to time, and I find more of her in the pages each time I do.

Sometimes people we’ve never met do a better job of capturing our personalities, our desires, our dreams, and our fears than the people that we’ve spent our whole lives with. When I want to know more about myself, I read a new book. The person who wrote it has never met me, but I find that they often know me better than I do. They put my emotions into words and help me sort out the mess of thought in my head. My reactions as I navigate my way through the pages give me insight as to how I really think and feel.

My favorite books over the years have been favorites for various reasons, whether it be because of a relatable character or because it really challenged the way I think. Sometimes a book becomes my favorite simply because it takes me away from the chaos of life. The bindings of the book hold me together while my mind journeys off to wherever the author chooses to take me. From the time I open the book until I read the last few lines, I feel safe.

For a while, I would read whatever I could get my hands on that didn’t require me to think. All I looked for was entertaining plot to keep my mind occupied. But over time, that wasn’t enough anymore. As I read, my mind would wander back to whatever it was that I was trying to avoid. I realized that the more challenging or “deep” a book was, the better escape it provided for me. It not only helped me avoid what I didn’t want to think about but it also changed the way I was thinking entirely.

I wonder how different relationships could be if instead of stalking their social media, people took the time to read each other’s favorite books. It would not only help you get to know them better, but it would give you something to talk about. Instead of awkward, meaningless small talk, you could have real conversations about things that actually matter to you. It would be much more meaningful to me for someone to take the time to read my favorite book than it would for them to take me out on a date and try to get to know me over the course of an overpriced meal.

It may be weird to think about getting to know someone through a book they didn’t write, but you can learn a lot about someone through their choices in literature. Unfortunately, people these days don’t even take the time to read books that they like, let alone books someone else likes. It’s a shame, really. Reading is such a beautiful thing.