I'm sure we can all recall that scene from "Mean Girls" where Mrs. Whats-her-face (Tina Fey) tells Cady, "I'm a pusher. I push people." Recently, my sorority did an activity where we wrote compliments to each other, and one of my sisters wrote to me, "I love how you always push people!"
Was that a compliment? Am I a 'pusher?'
In the "Mean Girls" movie, Tina Fey's character is the math teacher who pushes Cady into doing the Mathletes, pushed her husband into law school (who is now divorcing her) and pushed herself into working three jobs. I've always been a 'pusher' for myself—I actually do work three jobs right now, on top of being a student athlete, an honors student and chair of standards for my sorority. But am I a pusher for other people? And is that even a good thing?
I do want my friends to do their best—whether that's school, or financial obligations, or friendships. I'll probably never be the person to unironically say "f*** it!" I'll never feel comfortable going shopping with a sorority sister if I know she hasn't paid her dues this week—I'll never feel good about my friends going out the night before a big midterm exam—I'll never feel like any of that is what I should be supporting for my friends' lives.
I have to question what my role is, though. I'm not a parent or a professor or a Dean of the college, I'm not really in any position to be judging what other people do or trying to change their behavior, am I?
But. But here's the thing. Here we are, 19 and 20 and 21 year-olds, all trying to get through life the best we can. Our friends are our support system, our escape, the people who have our backs. And shouldn't that include caring about each other's decisions? I've had friends talk me into doing some really dumb things throughout my life.. but I've also had friends that talked me out of some bad decisions, and those are the people I trust to ask for an opinion when I need one. So maybe we should let our friends push us a little bit. Maybe, they're our family now, and we need to take care of each other.
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Luckily, many colleges offer a number of ways to take part in campus and community life, without forcing you to dedicate all of your time to these organizations. Here are a few ideas!
1. Look into Housing and Dining.
Many first-year students start off college life in residence halls, and the Housing & Dining network throughout campus often provides multiple opportunities for students throughout the year. Many buildings have student community councils that work to create policies and events that make the dorms a more welcoming home for residents. Becoming a community assistant (or the students who work the desks at the front of many halls) is another easy way to have a consistent, well-paying job only minutes away from your room.
If you really enjoyed your housing experience, consider applying to be an RLA, or, if the school offers it, help to teach the first-year community. You'll get the chance to help support new and returning students over the year, and many of these positions also cover major costs like board and meal plans.
2. Pay attention to campus postings.
This advice is more obvious, but it still gets overlooked a fair amount. Even on a busy day, taking the time to stop around campus and look at the flyers advertising clubs and events can draw your attention to something that you never would've noticed otherwise. Students on many campuses also chalk the sidewalk to catch students' attention while they walk to class. Just make sure that the event you're interested in hasn't taken place already!
3. Find common interest groups.
One way to find friends and get involved is to focus on what you're passionate about. Have you always loved to sing? Do you enjoy playing video games? Is photography your favorite past-time? Have you always wanted to join Greek life? Whatever you love devoting your time to, chances are there are organizations around school who are focused on the same thing. Check the student life section of your university's website, or stop by a student organization fair at the beginning of the semester.
4. Join an intramural sports team.
If you're the athletic type, you've probably heard of intramural sports. Often offered through the Rec Center or the residence halls, most colleges often offer various indoor and outdoor sports to take part in throughout the year. Personal favorite? Mini golf.
5. Work on a cause that you care about.
Whether you're passionate about a political group, a social cause, or a religion, working with people who value beliefs similar to yours can be an easy way to meet people, get a better sense of your own identity, and promote causes that are important to you. Look into getting involved with College Democrats, Republicans, or whatever party that you belong to. Find a club that supports social issues, from women's rights to protecting the environment. If you're religious, look into student organizations based on your faith.
6. Join a club related to your major.
Even if you're not entirely sure what you want to do after school, finding a club or organization related to your field of studies can benefit you long after you leave the classroom. From career-related workshops to conferences to professional connections, these groups have a lot to boast.
7. Get an on-campus job.
If you have the time, need to work, or want to save a few extra dollars, finding a job on or near campus is a time-effective way to build up your bank account and gain work experience. Check in your residence hall (see #1), at local businesses and offices, or make an appointment with your school's career center.
8. Volunteer.
When you're caught up in school life, it can be hard to think about the bigger picture. Volunteering your time to people (or animals/an environment) in need puts things in perspective and allows you to feel good while making a positive difference. Check if your college town has a volunteer page, or look up local organizations requesting help.
Best of luck this year! Get out, and get busy.
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