"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
We've all been asked this question in our lives at one time or another. Generally, this occurs in grade school. For me, I remember sitting in my 3rd grade class being told to draw what we wanted to be when we got older. My teacher walked around the room, observing each student's work until she arrived at me and asked me what I was drawing. I responding with a grin on my face and exclaimed, "I'm drawing happy! That's what I want to be when I grow up!" Although it was not the typical response you would expect from an 8 year old, not a fireman or a doctor, somehow I knew early on that it was important to be happy. Little did I know at the time, however, was just how difficult such a seemingly simple concept could be.
Like any other young adult, I have had my fair share of heartbreak, disappointment, and personal struggles. Going through difficult experiences have shown me that phrases such as "don't worry, be happy" are not as easy to follow as they may seem. It took me a while, but I finally learned that happiness is not a destination. You can search for it your whole life, and it may never come. Happiness is a state of being, and while it may seem like the most difficult thing in the world to achieve, it really is quite simple when you really think about it. Here are are few tips to help anyone struggling to find their way:
1. You Have A Choice
As cliché as it may sound, it really is a choice to be happy. Conversely, it is always a choice to be unhappy. Sometimes, without even realizing it, we make unconscious choices that effect our happiness. Whether you are choosing to procrastinate that ten page research paper until the last minute, to run back to that boyfriend or girlfriend that has hurt you far too many times, or to dwell on the bad day that you had, you are making the choice to do something that you probably know isn't the smartest thing to be doing. By actively choosing to do things differently when we know certain things (or people) are having a negative impact on our lives, it is incredible how much of a difference you'll begin to see. If you are unhappy with your body, you can start hitting the gym. If your grades are slipping, check your priorities and make a change. If you're having a bad day, try to think about how things could have gone differently. Remember, you always have the power to change the things that are bringing you down.
2. Learn To Accept What You Can't Change
Piggybacking off that last point, there are just some things in life that you cannot change. It is important to understand that this doesn't mean that just because you fail at something or because a situation doesn't go your way, that you should give up or just stop trying. That's not what I'm saying. What I am saying is that there are some things in life that are out of your control. One of the biggest mistakes we make is that we tend to dwell on a negative situation instead of learning how to get past it or learn from it. This is so important because life is all about learning, and the most effective way to learn is to fall and get back up again. So what if you didn't nail the interview for that job you've been wanting forever? At least now you know what to expect. You're best friend betrayed your trust? Well, at least you found out sooner rather lan later, and now you know to be more careful the next time. There is always a way to overcome any obstacle that life throws at you, even if you can't change it. Realizing this such an important key to getting where you want to be in your life.
3. Self Love Is Key
This is another one that sounds like it came right out of a self-help book, but I can tell you from personal experience that it is spot on accurate. Loving yourself is the most important thing where happiness is concerned. Because, if you think a relationship, a great job, or any material item is going to make you happy if you don't love yourself first, you'll be in for a rude awakening. I know it may not always be the easiest thing when you've been through a lot of heartache and disappointment, believe me I've been there. But before you can ever expect to get anything good out of life, it is important that you recognize how incredible you are. Confidence and self-assurance are two things that will go a long way toward happiness, no matter where life takes you. I had a friend tell me once that one of the best ways to start is to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and say three things that you love about yourself. The goal is to try to think of three new things every day, and to not just focus on physical traits. An example of this would be like, "I am selfless. I am driven. I am strong." Something that may seem so trivial to you can be so beneficial in the long run. Take it from someone who still does it every day, you begin to realize that you have so many great qualities and so much to offer the world. Before you know it, you'll be more confident than you ever thought possible. Hang in there, better days are ahead.
4. The Only Person You Should Be Depending On Is You
One of the biggest mistakes we make as human beings is depending on other people to provide us with happiness. Be it a family member, a significant other or even a best friend, when you start to get comfortable with someone, it is easy to rely on them more and more as time goes on. Which is fine! But if that person becomes your only source of happiness, if that person for any reason isn't a part of your life anymore, your whole world comes tumbling down. Your life should not fall apart just because a friendship or relationship doesn't work out. It is so important to be secure in yourself and to know that you have the power to make yourself happy. Because when you do that, nbc one can ever say that they were able to take that happiness away from you. Assert your independence!
5. Who You Surround Yourself With Matters
THIS. IS. SO. IMPORTANT. My mom used to say this to me all the time when I was younger, and it honestly look me years to believe her. The people you surround course;f with on a daily basis have more of an influence on you than you think. These are the people that you spend the majority of your time with, and the people that have the most influence on you, whether you want to believe it or not. Make sure that you are surrounding yourself with people who share the same values and life goals as you. If you're driven, you want to be around people who are driven too, and will help you toward whatever dream you are working towards. More importantly, you want to be around people that will help motivate you, support you, and better yourself. These people should be able to pick you up when you're down, and have a positive impact on your life. It wasn't until recently when I stopped trying to impress everyone and found people that I could be myself around, relate to, and trust that I began to see how much happier I was. The people you have in your circle become a big part of who you are, so take a look around and make sure you are okay with that!
6. Change Your Outlook
I cannot stress enough how much a positive attitude can make a difference in the life of an unhappy person. No, a positive thought in and of itself isn't going to automatically change the situation you're in, but believe me when I tell you it will make a hell of a difference. Think about it. If you wake up in the morning and are determined to have a terrible day, chances are you will. In the same way, if you are dead set on having a great day and choose not to let anything ruin it, you increase your chances of doing just that. Remember, one bird doesn't make a summer and one raindrop doesn't make a storm, so don't let a bad day or situation discourage you! A bad day does not equal a bad life, and there is always something to smile about if you just look hard enough!
7. Do What Makes You Happy
Let's face it. Life is too short to waste it being serious one hundred percent of the time. There is a time and a place for everything, and that includes having fun! Part of staying happy means doing things for you, and you alone. Whether it's binge watching your favorite show on Netflix, singing at a karaoke night, playing a sport or going on an adventure, we all have thing that we love to do. Find something that you enjoy at set aside a little bit of time every week to do the things that you enjoy! This serves as a great distraction from the stress and business of life, but more importantly it reminds you that no matter what you have going on, there is always something to be happy about!
