Most people at the gym tend to slip in their earbuds, grab their weights, and crank out their workout. I, on the other hand, tend to be one of those people who strike up a conversation with the people talking about tattoos on the floor next to me or make plans to meet up again at yoga with the girls I saw at the previous class (we are now best friends). But the one conversation that forever sticks with me at the gym was when I met Allan.
Allan is an older gentleman I had the pleasure of meeting while doing my occasional stationary bike as sweat poured down my face. Almost every Monday and Wednesday, we'd get bikes next to each other, and he'd beam with stories about his wife, teaching at several colleges around the world before retiring, and his views on life. He was a scholarly man, always referencing to an article he had read or a story from the paper he found fascinating.
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One morning, Allan began our normal conversation about an article he had read about religion before segueing into what he considered a momentous question.
"Do you know what the absolute number one thing is people want in life? Now, I will warn you, I have asked hundreds of people this very same question, and not a single person has been able to answer it correctly."
I looked at him and without even really thinking about it, I answered: happiness. He completely stopped pedaling, looked me straight in the eye with his jaw dropped and dumbfoundedly said, "Yes. Wow, most people answer money, or a family."
I chuckled, then continued my workout as normal. It took me a few days for it to sink in--that a professor who began each class he taught for 40 years with this very same question had not one individual responded with happiness. I thought that was the American dream? Perhaps even everyone's dream is to live a life that is filled to the brim with happiness.
But here seems to be the problem: we tell everyone that we are happy, so we believe we are, but in reality, we may or may not actually be happy. We are measuring our happiness on a wrong scale. We measure it with money and likes we receive on our pictures. That's something we have all heard time and time again, but then, why are we chasing after the wrong things? We continually talk about being happy, but have you ever stopped to think that maybe you aren't? Or perhaps not as happy as you make yourself out to be?
We are in the brutal habit of not showing our emotions, but rather painting a picture perfect view of our lives full of pure happiness. Why are we so afraid to genuinely express to people how we feel? We need to talk about how we actually feel in order to fully grasp what happiness is. Once we realize we are having a rough day, the best days are 10 times more rewarding. We need to tell people how much we care about them, how grateful we are for our lives, and what makes our lives great or perhaps really crappy at the moment. That is when we realize what truly creates our best moments. We need to stop chasing likes, money, and every other little monetary thing. Those all come with the ultimate prize: pure happiness.
