I was born and raised Catholic, I went to private Catholic school for 15 years, and I came to the conclusion that I no longer identify as Catholic, or even Christian. This isn't some rebellion I have against my family or educators who identify as Catholic, this is a carefully thought out and slept upon decision I confidently make. There seems to be a surge of people recently finding their faith in religion to guide them, or whatever it may be. While I have absolutely no issue with anyone freely practicing their religion, I began to feel sickened with the force feeding of religion – specifically Roman Catholicism – that I was given for so many years of my life. Though I, like many others, was not directly forced into Catholicism with the intent to cause harm, the ever present subconscious virus of persecution by the Church that is supposed to be a loving and welcoming community refrained me from even toying with the idea of not being religious.

Cult - a system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object.

Yes, I am saying Roman Catholicism, as well as all other religions, started as cults. The term "cult" too much of a taboo term to use nowadays, most people think of Wicca, Satanism, Paganism (which Catholicism derived from), rather the "occult" side of things. The only reason we don't call religions cults is because they have survived hundreds of generations and are extremely large in scale. Our modern understanding of the word "cult" is not at all what I am defining Catholicism to be. It is not entirely governed by one individual, rather a multitude of councils. It is also not a heretic sect of another religion. While the Roman Catholic church has been (justly) accused of implementing false doctrines, I would not consider it a "cult" in the western, modern-day definition: an anti-Christian organization.

I can never remember a time where I truly believed in anything that is stated in the bible, other than a whimsical 7 year old listening to the stories of creation, David and Goliath, and Jesus turning water to wine. I didn't understand the weight of being confirmed as an adult into the Catholic Church until I was seventeen, three years after being confirmed. No matter how much you want to defend Catholicism, it brainwashes kids from a very young age, something I am extremely against. The too-well known "Catholic Guilt" was slowly but viciously eating away at me as I grew older. I was tired of trying to be a part of something that didn't ring true in my heart and soul.

I had an instantaneous passion for philosophy as soon as I entered college. It tackles the questions some would never even think to ask. There are so many theories and arguments to research and soak in. It's beyond overwhelming and frustrating when you feel like questions never get answered (to be fair, most don't get answered. Ever.), but it's so enticing that I am consistently drawn back to those complex theories about free will and the simultaneous existence of God and evil in this world.

In my studies in philosophy, I have come to the conclusion that I identify as an agnostic theist, meaning I believe that there is some form of a creator out there, but there is no way of knowing if that creator exists, or if there is any way of ever knowing the existence of that creator. The universe is far too complex to simply pop into existence; there had to have been some form that decided they were going to bring stardust to life. However, I do not believe that this creator has any influence on our lives currently. I believe once this creator made the universe, it also made the Laws of Nature, and every event that unfolds before us is only following its natural path without divine intervention. Butthis is not the same as no free will, destiny, or fate at all. My philosophical beliefs are entirely different – and strenuously long – subjects that would have to be written for another article if I had about 17 hours to non-stop write.

I no longer practice Lenten traditions, Easter and Christmas have a more secular meaning to me (being with family and friends), and I don't really pray that God will guide me through whatever it is that is troubling me. Some followers of faith abuse the gift to pray to their gods, only using it when they are in need of something. Some also abuse their religion as a whole, using it to condemn others for being different. No religion should be discriminated against because of their beliefs or the harmful actions of the few who claim they follow a certain religion, but the outright persecution of others while supporting their actions with religion is pathetic.

Blind following of a certain religion can be harmful rather than helpful. I wasn't happy participating in Mass, and you shouldn't do things that don't make you genuinely happy. I applaud those who have found solace in a religion and are passionate about what they believe in, some people never find peace in their spiritual lives. I found peace in wanting to believe there is a creator out there, but being comfortable living without the pressure of saying that there definitely is or is not a God. Bottom line is people can have different views from you, and you have to respect those views, even if you wholeheartedly disagree with what they say.