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Pumpkin Carving Hacks

Make it easier, Make it yours

Sarah Schultz

Oct 24, 2016

Northern Michigan University

DHGate.com

You won’t have to worry about weird ridges tipping the candle over.
You can cut a huge hole to access the inside and no one will be able to tell.
If the candle is lopsided you can use this to stabilize and even it out.
You don’t have to worry about the top of the pumpkin falling.
You can hold the stem of the pumpkin and hit in on the ground to get the guts out.

Cut upside down triangles for the eyes.
Try tiny slits for teeth instead of huge gaps.
Use square shapes instead of triangular.
Cut the entire pumpkin through the middle. Just leave enough to support the top half.
“Destroy” your pumpkin and use it anyway.

Draw before you cut. Waterproof markers work best.
Use large spoons instead of the cheap plastic scoops you find it sets.
Carve outside. Less mess.
Carve over papers. Then bundle it all up and toss it out.
Pumpkins get slippery when carved. Keep a rag nearby to wipe it down, or your pumpkin may slip and end up destroyed.

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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