I never considered myself an anxious person growing up. I didn't have too much difficulty making new friends and felt comfortable enough in most social settings. But things began to change when I entered middle school and there were assignments that involved getting up in front of a larger group to speak. As capable as I was to blend in the crowd, I realized my struggle to become comfortable with having silent eyes on me without any alleviation or support from others.
The anxious symptoms didn't happen overnight but slowly built up with each public speaking experience. It reached a climax when I had to get up in front of an auditorium of people in eighth grade to give a speech for my school's National Honors Society and literally choked from the pressure. From what I can remember, though my brain has blocked details of it for the sake of my sanity, I was talking so fast, trying desperately to get it over with, that I had forgotten to breathe. My body eventually needed more oxygen obviously, so, out of nowhere, I took this huge, gasping breath. I was drowning in air. So that's where the phrase "don't choke" came from.
Needless to say, it was horrific and that is just one of many. Over the years, I have been able to tame this fear but every time I get in front of a group of people I have to prep for it seriously like a professional athlete conditions themselves for a race. Every time. (Unless I'm drunk, then that's a different story. But don't use alcohol to solve your problems. Only when you need to muster up the strength to do a karaoke song and you're of legal age.)
If you're anything like me, please learn from my trials and tribulations with the tips I give below. Best wishes to all your public speaking endeavors and I hope this saves you from choking.
1. Make sure you're hydrated
Ironically enough, the biggest tip I have to save yourself from metaphorically drowning in your anxiety is by drinking water. Not only does hydration have its usual benefits for the body, but it will ~lubricate~ your mouth to make it easier to speak and enunciate your words.
It is a very real possibility to experience dry mouth giving a speech, which can happen because of the heightened levels of cortisol flooding your body from the perceived threat of speaking in front of people. Bring a water bottle with you and drink it leading up to your presentation. Don't be afraid to bring it up with you to the podium too; I know it can feel awkward, but it is totally okay to take a pause for a sip. But try not to drink too much.
2. Practice doesn't need to make perfect, but it will make you feel more in control
This one is pretty straight forward so it seems overrated and corny but IT IS NOT. Practice, practice, and then talk some more to yourself or another person you trust if you can. Look at yourself in the mirror and practice what you are going to say. Soon enough you'll be practicing so much that the words will hold less power leaving your mouth and who they land on. Get creative with it too, loosen yourself up with humor; instead of using the same tone every time, speak it once or twice in a different, silly manner. Try to practice once while jumping up and down. Not only will you feel confident in what you're saying, but you'll get a workout in too. Win, win!
3. Bring up note-cards, if the occasion allows it
Don't look at the cards the whole time, but rather use them as a guide for where you need to go next in case you forget due to the anxiety. It's okay to take a moment's pause to figure our where you are. Hang in there!
4. Bend your knees
I learned this trick from an Intro to Acting class. If you are nervous, bend your knees while you're standing. It's a little thing, but it has personally worked for me to not be so tense while up in front of people. Anxiety begins in the emotional but reaches out towards the physical; your motionless, plank-like body seized by your thoughts won't save you from eyes being looked upon you.
5. Confide to someone in the audience that you are nervous
I *love* to do this now any chance I can get. I have anxiety when it comes to speaking in front of groups of people, but thankfully I do not mind jabbering to a stranger next to me that I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS AND I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS. Usually, you'll get a response of camaraderie from the person you confided in and now you have someone you can lock eyes in the audience for a sense of encouragement to continue on in the battle.
6. Meditate or do breath work
Another underrated method I think because it seems so obvious. But that's because it works! On the morning of the big day, I like to do a simple 10-15 meditation which allows me to feel more centered and consciously aware of my body. It makes me recognize my strength and my capability to do anything that I set my mind to.
7. See the bigger picture
At the end of the day, regardless of what your anxiety is telling you, it will not be as bad as it seems in your catastrophizing mind. And if it is bad in the sense that your pants fall down or you set something on fire, it will make a great story in ten years time. But in the meantime, realize that everyone has their own problems and anxieties to deal with too so you are not the first thing they are thinking about. And if they are judging you, well screw them. They suck anyway.
I LOVE YOU AND WISH YOU THE BEST!
