You’re standing in the middle of a crowded section of a department store. Your mom insisted you just had to finish up that bit of shopping today, even though you hadn’t felt up to it. The holiday music is still blasting at full volume even though it’s January and people around you are talking too loudly. The lights are suddenly blindingly bright as you’re trying to pick out a sweater so you can just go home. You grab something, anything, off the rack. Your mother hates it. You hate it too, but you don’t admit that. Where even is the nearest exit? You feel small. Trapped. Insecure. A little voice in the back of your mind starts nagging you, reminding you of things you need to do and it questions what would happen if there was a fire, right now, and you feel your heartbeat speeding up.
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You wonder if you fed the dog this morning. You know you did, but now you’re doubting yourself. While you’re at it, your brain reminds you of that embarrassing moment from five years ago in front of your crush. You’re not watching where you’re going and bam! You trip right into a rack of clothing. Are people staring? Great, now everyone’s going to think you’re a total weirdo. Your breathing is growing faster and you feel like you can’t control it. Your mom suggests you try going to yet another store and you snap back “I don’t care, forget it! I never wanted to come on this stupid shopping trip anyway!”
Anyone who’s ever experienced a similar feeling of anxiety will understand how miserable this can be. It’s easy to feel as though you’ve lost control and everything just seems to make the feeling worse. Based on personal experience, there are a few things that can help you regain control and make positive steps towards removing yourself from the negative situation.
1. If you’re having difficulty breathing, try and time your breaths with counts of ten.
Five in, five out. If five is too long, start at two and work up. When you tense up you cut off oxygen to your brain, preventing you from thinking clearly, which just makes everything worse.
2. Excuse yourself.
Trying to regain control in public is frightening and embarrassing, making it exceedingly difficult. Take a quick trip to the bathroom or step outside and take a walk around the parking lot. If you drove, go sit in your car for a few minutes and turn on the radio. Don’t worry about items you were thinking of purchasing- it’s not the end of the world if you leave them discreetly on the end of a rack for a few minutes.
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3. Identify triggers.
For me, noise level can really trigger me. If you absolutely need to be in the triggering area, walk away from it and come back. Before you go back, mentally prepare yourself. If you know it will be likely to trigger you, you can talk yourself through it and be one step ahead of the panic.
4. Give yourself something new to focus on.
Carry gum, mints, headphones, or something else relaxing in your pocket whenever you go out. If you feel the panic setting in, divert your attention away from your surroundings. If you don’t have anything with you, sing the lyrics to your favorite song in your head, or tell yourself a story. Look at some cute pictures of baby animals, and just remember- it’s all going to be okay, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.
