Currently, as a sophomore in college, I'm taking a Psychology 101 course. This course is required of every Le Moyne student here. (Unless, of course, you were better than I was in high school and took it then. Go you! Seriously!)

At the very beginning, some of the class topics had such an eerie relationship to what was going on in my life outside of class that it honestly freaked me out a lot. Recently, however, it's been getting very, very real and a little too applicable to my life.

Our current class topic is "motivation" and what drives us psychologically. As humans, we have three main theories of motivation: instincts, drives and needs, and arousal. We also have two different types: intrinsic and extrinsic, intrinsic meaning those motivations that occur within the individual, and extrinsic meaning they occur outside of the individual. It made me start thinking about something: are my motivations intrinsic or extrinsic? Am I doing the things I'm doing for gratification from others or self-gratification? Are they expected of me or am I doing them due to my own will?

That, then, began an endless few days of soul-searching and a few close encounters with existential breakdowns, but I digress. The most important thing I noticed was that, in order for me to be totally happy as a person, I need to have a healthy balance between intrinsic and extrinsic motivations and actions, with more intrinsic ones than extrinsic.

Sure, being told what you're doing is great by others is totally gratifying and it feels wonderful! But what about doing things for yourself? You should always do little things that are great without having to broadcast them. They give you this sense of self and help you understand where your priorities lie and what you value.

Which then led me to realize that we are a largely extrinsic society and we have grown to become more and more that way with every new generation. Think about it: we have such things as participation trophies and sometimes, people do charity work just for the right to brag about it. I am not saying that every person who does charity work or volunteers for a good cause is looking for gratification and praise from others. It just seems that we have a mentality of showing it off, whether it's conscious or subconscious thing.

At the end of the day, I feel it's necessary to reassess myself and ask, "Was I doing this to seek attention and value from others, or was I doing it because it was my own decision and it would help me grow as a person?" But sometimes it's also nice to just go with the flow and not question things toomuch.