When Emma Lazarus wrote the famous words, "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free," I am 100%, unquestionably convinced she was speaking of recent college graduates.
As a college student, you are sent down a path of what I like to call beautiful intermediacy. You have freedom but still, are bound by general rules. You are living on your own, but "on your own" happens to be with four other roommates. You're broke, but mom or dad will still mercifully send a little grocery money your way (though yes, you will unquestioningly spend that on alcohol instead). The thing about college is that you are expected to still be clueless. But, what happens if you're clueless even after you graduate?
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On May 14th, 2016 I walked across the stage, diploma in hand, and smile on my face. On May 15th, 2016 my smile had faded.
I graduated college with good grades, better friends, and an amazing support system made of professors and advisors; however, what I was lacking was the one thing college couldn't prepare me for: a plan.
My friends had their lives together; they were accepted into medical school to become a doctor, accepted into a speech-language pathology program, and moving to Florida to work at Disney (aka, following your dreams at the LITERAL PLACE OF DREAMS). Me? I had absolutely nothing, nada, zilch, zero sense of what was ahead of me. I mean, yes, I knew what I wanted to be "when I grew up," but the problem was I felt like I still had a lot of growing up left to do.
However, and here's where I'm going to propose something really subversive, what if that isn't a bad thing? Where did we get this warped sense that there can only be one right way to go about things? Instead of valuing these outliers that follow a different path as being innovative, forward thinkers, we choose to beat down the ambitions of our youth through the societal shaming of any idea that diverges from the "norm."
I've chosen to take a gap year between my undergraduate coursework and continuing my education, and I say that with pride. After all, why, at 22 years of age, do I have to have my entire life planned out before me? Do you realize what an absurd concept that is? There are laws prohibiting you from making certain choices until you're 21 because your adolescent brain can't make mature decisions yet. But, somehow, the very next year we're expected to be old enough to lay out the course of our future for the rest of our existence on Earth--that's ludicrous.
Yes, I could have pushed through and done what I was supposed to do, but before I knew it, I would have been stuck in a life that I hadn't ever consciously chosen, and without any of the opportunities that I have currently in front of me. Instead, I've been able to grow closer to some of the most genuine friends I could have ever been blessed with. I've been able to laugh, to learn, and to discover my true passions. I've been able to grab drinks and stay out until the sun rose (without having to worry about the hangover that my 22-year-old body can still fend off). I've been able to read hauntingly beautiful books, shed tears from volunteer work, (attempt to) learn sign language, and, possibly most precious of all, spend mornings having coffee with my grandparents.
Some people might view my life as being at a standstill or even a step backwards, but I would much rather take a small step backwards than brazenly plow on in the wrong direction. I am so fiercely determined to follow my dreams, but I want to spend time developing those dreams first. In defense of every person out there who feels lost, confused, or clueless: you don't need to have it all figured out just yet. There is always time to stop, breathe, and remember it is never too late to pursue the life you desire.
Life is so wonderfully chaotic and beautifully exhausting; I plan on making the most of every single minute of it--gap year and all.
