Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, I am only pretending to be one. You are welcome to take my advice, but I wouldn't if I were you.

In this article:

What is PSD?

How can I cure PSD?

Do I need to take summer courses to cure PSD?

Are addictions to social media and PSD connected?

Should I seriously consider becoming a fifth year senior?

Is it normal to want to stay in college for forever?

What is PSD?

PSD, short for Post School Depression, is a disease commonly found in college students (if you have this and are in high school - you have peaked. Stop now). Although normally referred to as the "typical dramatic college student attitude," PSD is a state in which students long to return back to the former school year in their college towns. Despite the warm summer months, people affected by PSD typically are found constantly using social media to do one or more of the following: stalk, follow, FaceTime, text, tweet, Instagram, and (in extreme circumstances) Facebook message.

Symptoms:

• Excessive use of social media
• Excessive use of cellular devices and/or computer
• Purchase of plane tickets to visit college friends
• Going out of one's way to visit college friends
• Poking on Facebook
• Frequent "#tbt" posts
• Constructing a valid argument for the necessary return to college a week or more before school starts to "re-adjust"

Cures:

While there is no specific cure to PSD, there are many ways to relieve the symptoms. Such medications include, but are not limited to: FaceTime dates, actual dates to meet up with college friends, crying fits (yes, sometimes shedding a few tears is cathartic), and re-watching movies set in college (Animal House, The House Bunny, Sydney White, Legally Blonde, etc.). The most commonly used activity is drinking alcohol (tequila shots, keg stands), but you didn't hear that from me.