It's once again that unfortunate time of year, the post-spring break stretch, when there is no more time to goof off or procrastinate. If you are like me, then you probably have about 18,000 things that you have to do or that are due in the next five weeks.

With no end in sight, you may start noticing the symptoms of post-spring break stress disorder, or PSBSD. There are several distinct signs that you should be on the look out for in yourself and your collegiate peers to determine a diagnosis of PSBSD:

• Lack of sleep
• Inability to function like a normal human
• Grumpiness
• Despair
• Paranoia
• Uncontrollable and inappropriate sobbing
• Falling asleep in public places
• Being a ticking time bomb
• Murderous thoughts against happy, unstressed people
• Manic laughter
• Trying to start your car with house keys
• Blankly staring into space, or your computer screen, for obscene amounts of time
• Loss of the ability to form coherent sentences
• Feeling kinship with grumpy cat memes

If you start to notice that you are experiencing one or more of these symptoms as the semester wears on, remember to take some time for yourself when you are not completely stressing about all the things you still have to cross off your to-do list before the sweet smell of freedom -- I mean summer -- comes.

Also, remember "stressed" is just "desserts" spelled backwards, so if you stress, eat a box of Twinkies. No judgement shall be passed.