I feel responsible to preface this article with a disclaimer: I have not, in fact, actually owned any pet chickens. However, my high school self spent extensive amounts of time researching everything and anything about how to be the perfect hen mama, and I feel prepared to share this information with you.

First off, look how cute they are! Small, fluffy, and just waiting to be your best friend. Unbeknownst to many, chickens are actually incredibly personable, and can quickly become best buds with their human caretakers. Many chicken parents find that their cluckers love being scratched and held affectionately. And there's no need to worry about cat scratches or dog bites because chickens are harmless!

If their cuteness alone isn't convincing, think about the memes! Chickens are silly, playful, and come with every personality imaginable. As a result, they tend to get into some pretty hilarious situations, perfect for meme-ing.

https://me.me/i/he-boot-too-big-for-he-gotdamn-feet-3-42-pm-1168998

Next, names. Rusty the dog and Simba the cat are so overrated. It is endless fun to think of silly names to call your chickens. My family decided to name our hypothetical chickens Marge (my idea), Muffin (my brother's idea), and Mary Jane (my dad's idea) and we had all sorts of laughs narrowing it down to those three. Some people like to get more creative, opting for Amelia Egghart, Attila the Hen, or Albert Eggstein. The possibilities are infinite!

If you like to garden, chickens will be your best friend. These little guys will create a shockingly massive amount of poop, but that's perfect for manure or a compost pile! Chickens love to rake through dirt, pecking, and scratching, which just means that they will naturally till your garden for you. The biggest bonus of having chickens in your garden is pest control.

They will snack on all your beetles, grubs, and bugs nonstop, effectively eliminating your pest population in weeks. Additionally, chickens love food scraps too, so you don't have to stress about whatever leftovers are rotting in the fridge, just feed them to your chickens!

Last but not least, the most obvious benefit of owning chickens… they give you free food! Many hens will lay 3-5 eggs every week during their peak production period. Depending on the breed, you can get white, brown, or even blue eggs! The Ameraucana breed is famous for its pale blue eggs, sometimes spotting a few artsy speckles.

Note to sound like an excerpt from Forrest Gump, but you can make hard-boiled eggs, soft boiled eggs, scrambled eggs, a litany of omelets, fried eggs, poached eggs, baked eggs, frittatas, and more! Straight out of your backyard and filled with nutrition, the delicious options are endless. Furthermore, since you're in charge of your egg-layers diets, you'll know exactly what quality feed is being used to create your eggs. Once you try these uber-fresh eggs, the old grocery store options will pale in comparison.

In summary, it is obvious, at least to me, that chickens are the superior pet. Fun-loving and helpful, these little guys will enrich your life to no end and provide fulfillment in a way that cats and dogs are unable. I can't wait to be a chicken mama one day!