A few years back, I had an awkward encounter as an older student returning to college. I was five months honorably discharged from Uncle Sam’s Army (Hoooah!). I was still prone to the tendencies of a testosterone encrusted man in uniform whose focus sometimes lends itself to the urgings of an aggressive rooster cut loose in the hen house. Get where I’m going with this yet?
Anyway, I was sitting in the lecture hall the first day of class. I started appreciating the young women walking in. Appreciating isn’t the most appropriate word, but I’ll just stick with that word for the sake of keeping things G-rated.
The “appreciation” came to a dead stop after I recognized the young lady’s name, and I’ll just say I knew her reasonably well when she was knee-high to a grasshopper. Confession every Saturday for the rest of my life won't alleviate the embarrassed shame I still feel.
Despite the profound awkwardness of that day, I can’t say being an older student is all bad. In fact, there are some definite perks to being an older student. I’ll even tell ya’ a few. Then I’ll tell ya’ some of the not-so-cool aspects of being a “non-traditional” student (to put it more politely).
Why being an older student isn’t so bad
I’ve seen stuff, okay? I’ve lived stuff. By simply being older, I’m seen as more responsible or wordly, which lends well to easily bonding with professors. This sometimes provides the benefit of being cut a little slack, since I obviously have more on my plate than the average student.
Maturity plays a part. I’m less concerned with attending every event under the sun. I don’t need to join a fraternity. I know not to indulge in 3 am trips to Taco Bell or when I’ve had enough to drink. I know that paying a mortgage supersedes the desire of the latest iteration of the iPhone or securing an oceanfront room in Cancun for Spring Break.
Also advantageous to my financial interests is the that my parents’ income is no longer a consideration when I file for FAFSA. Score!
Thinking about determined study habits, I remember what it was like to research before the internet. I’ve navigated just about all the red tape that life, legality, and even the military could throw at me, and I did so without running to mom and dad. I’ve been in more than a couple situations in which I, and I alone, had to make my own decisions with little to no input from others.
In literature classes, I relate to some of the tragedies authors write about, so I don’t always have to use my imagination. I’ve been shot at. I’ve experienced the loss of multiple friends. I worry about the eventual death of my parents. Not that these experiences exist solely in the realm of older individuals, but the likelihood is greater.
I have few decades of networking behind me, and that’s something worth writing home about. Elementary school, high school, my gymnastics background, multiple careers, and my military service afford me the pleasure (and potential benefit) of knowing a wealth of people. References? I’ve got dozens upon dozens of choices not involving family.
These issues are far from exhaustive and they aren’t inclusive of all students. It’s really just the tip of the iceberg, but I’m merely suggesting that my life and its concerns culminate in me being a more reliably inclined student.
Why being an older student isn’t cool
Learning that I'm 37 years old, a peer uttered the words, “You’re my mom’s age.” By the time I formed a scathingly brilliant response, it was past midnight and the opportunity long gone. Not that there's anything wrong with my age, I'm still mildly self-conscious that I'm an older student.
On that subject of peer responses to my age, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard “sir” from a student. I was even addressed as “professor” once, although I was freshly shaven and attired in professional attire. At least I haven’t been assumed a parent yet. Oh, wait. I have, in fact, had someone assume I was a parent.
Sometimes I'll find myself appreciating a female peer, albeit less like an animal as suggested before. Yes, age is a just a number, but the experiences I have contrasted against their experiences creates a world of severe differences that are a recipe for disaster. End result? I can't often entertain the idea of dating any of my classmates.
More than a handful of my peers worry about trivial things. Things I worry about? Is the degree worth the investment of time and money? What's the status of my IRA? Did I take my fish oil? I shouldn't have had that single mug of beer. You know, stuff that I didn't think about at 18 or 19 years.
Despite responding to stress a little less emotionally, I still have moments when I don’t want to deal with life, school, and/or my career. Instead of cooking my own meals or doing my own laundry, I want to set up shop in my parents’ living room and let my mother fatten me up and take care of my laundry. Sometimes, if the stress is really bad, I dream of the days when I could get away with playing hooky.
Regarding stresses, it’s worth mentioning that my parents are older. They’re nearing their 80s, in fact, and their health problems plagues my siblings and me with the knowledge that we will soon have to make tough choices concerning my parents. This was a very real problem through the fall semester of 2017, as my father’s health took a sharp turn for the worse. He’s improved much since then, but I still worry.
I could drag on forever regarding the pros and cons of being an older student. Some reasons are worthy of a standalone article. Regardless, being a non-traditional student isn’t so bad. Let me know if you can relate to a few of these reasons, or if you think they’re utter garbage.
