Before anyone says anything, yes, I am 24 years old and I do not have my driver’s license yet.

For years, my family chalked it up to laziness or lack of self-confidence. But when I finally decided to go for it the summer before my sophomore year of college, wanting to grasp the full independence of adulthood, it was a disaster. I had gripped the steering wheel so hard I couldn’t move the car, and I didn’t know I was doing it until the driving instructor ripped the steering wheel from my hands. I was nauseous, my whole body felt hot, and I could not focus. I lasted two lessons before the instructor gave up and said: “Call again when you get more practice.”

Um, dude…that was my practice.

Anyone who has their driver’s license likely will tell you not to drive with your parents. Mine harped at me to get my license but offered me no help. I can’t bring myself to ask my relatives for help because I know they have ulterior motives: I’m a nice person, so they want to ask for favors. Maybe some do want me to be independent, but I get walked on too much to think otherwise.

I never realized how much anxiety I have in the car until I actually got behind the wheel. Though I want to try again, I have accepted the reality that I might not be qualified to be on the road. Like any situation, not having a driver’s license has its pros and cons.

Pros

Saving money!

I know from my friends that do have cars that half of their paycheck, if not all of it, goes towards car payments and gas. By not having those, I was able to put away a good chunk of money in my savings account. Watching that account grow has made me feel like an adult. And filled me with a sense of security that I have something if I need it.

No one can bug you for rides.

This goes back to me being a pushover. While my family argues that having my driver’s license will make me more independent, I know well enough that many of them will try to take advantage of it.

I love my dad and I want to help with my mom. He once said that if I get my license, he will buy me a car, but I will have to stay home and be a full-time chauffeur for my mom to her doctor’s appointments, as well as various shopping excursions (my mom is a shopping addict). He even offered to pay me.

Maybe I’m building a mountain out of a mole hole, but I know my dad well enough that this has a possibility of happening. Not having my driver’s license means I can avoid this fate, at least for now.

It’s not a bad idea to learn public transportation (and it can be fun!).

Learning public transportation is a useful skill. Most people don’t take their personal cars into the city if they can avoid it, because parking can be expensive and hard to find. I’ve learned the commuter rail and bus routes to get to my various jobs since graduation. When I worked at Macy’s, I took the bus into work and I met some interesting people. Not interesting in a bad way—they were funny, with good stories to tell.

You can enjoy the ride.

Life is short. Get off your iPhone and look out your window. Appreciate the nature and the life you see outside the glass. It is much nicer than those filtered selfies on Instagram.

Cons

You have to rely on others for rides.

People might be cool about offering you rides, but people are people. They can be late to picking you up. Their car might break down. They take the wrong route and they get lost. But these things happen regardless if you have a car or not.

You can’t always get where you want to go.

A few times I have encountered situations where no one is available to help me get my mom to her doctor’s appointments. If there is a situation where I want to be somewhere and I can’t find a bus or train, that’s annoying too. But I tell myself that I would likely be in this situation anyway if I had my driver’s license without a car.

Other people judge you.

My friends have been pretty nice about it. They have sometimes joked that I’m smart not getting my driver’s license and not owning a car because a car drains you financially. But people of older generations have looked at me with judgment, as if I’m another lazy millennial.

You feel pressure to get your license when you’re not ready.

Whether or not your friends are sympathetic as mine, or your family is more sympathetic than mine, the pressure to learn to drive is there. It all depends on how you deal with it and how much longer you plan on putting it off... Or if you plan on getting your driver’s license at all.