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Pronouns

A "Guide" to gender pronouns

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Pronouns
Flikr Commons

Gender pronouns can be difficult to downright confusing at times. The following list should help you out next time you aren't sure how they work*

*Please note that this article is intended to be satirical and humorous in nature. If these issues are sensitive to you, please do not proceed.

He/Him/His/Himself


Part of the infamous gender binary. Those who use these pronouns tend to have a superiority complex, possibly from the fact that we keep choosing them to run countries. They have a insatiable urge to draw something phallic on every surface they can while (mostly) claiming that they have no interest in the source of the shape at all. Pelvic thrusts are also common. Easily brought down by comments about size.

She/Her/Hers/Herself

1.The true superior of the gender binary. Able to accomplish all of the same tasks as the He/Him/His/Himself pronoun and many that the latter cannot. It is believed that they may actually have secret superpowers. Somehow, they are still paid less.

2. Terms used by gay males when throwing shade.


They/Them/Their/Themselves

Either has multiple personalities or has possibly eaten another person.

Per/Pers/Perself

Actually just twins messing with you.

Ze(Zie)/Hir/Hirs/Hirself

French.

E(Ey)/Em/Eir/Eirself


Canadian.

(F)ae/(F)aer/(F)aers/(F)aerself

French-Canadian

Xe/Xem/Xyr/Xyrs/Xemself

Gender identity is a serious matter that many struggle with every day. Degrading someone because of their chosen identity is a terrible thing to do. While this list is intended as a humor piece in order to diffuse tension, it also presents a satirical lens on the real troubles of those who deal with constant humiliation, degradation and lack of acceptance everyday. Addressing someone by their appropriate pronouns is easy. When in doubt use a gender neutral term (they, you, etc.) Many will not be offended if you simply ask. If you mess up, it is okay. Don't make a big deal about it, simply apologize and correct yourself. Make the world a better place. Spread love, tolerance and acceptance.

Please also note that the writer identifies as cis/male and uses he/his/himself pronouns. Thank you!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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