I write this primarily for the Brigade of Midshipmen. However, if you feel so, take the story with you. I am by no means an expert on this subject, and if you disagree… well, you can’t win them all. I write what I feel and I don’t like Research essays, so don’t expect one.

I believe that there are two types of confidence. The first is the confidence that comes from moral balance. It is the iron-clad confidence that makes you feel right in your decisions, that makes you feel useful and needed, and—probably the most important—makes you feel happy and that your actions are aligned with what you are currently working on. This confidence most likely arises from either family values or from internalizing a sense of duty; maybe you starting reading up on “Mad Dog” Mathis and want to be as badass as he is; maybe you read up on Major Dick Winters and want to aspire to be Easy Company material; or maybe you started you go back to Plebe Summer and internalize the mantra of Major Doug Zembiec, to “never forget those that were killed. And never let rest those who killed them.” It is that ephemeral quality that bleeds through people when the times get lean and the food turns harsh and the running never ends and the push-ups don’t stop coming. It’s a mindset that you build up, but most often than not, it is a solitary development, of deciding who you want to be and how you want to get there.

The second is the probably the most frightening of the two, in my personal experience. It is the one that pushes you far beyond what you were comfortable with, with what you thought you could do. It is that scary one that forces you to get punched on the nose until blood spills or jump from 10 meters into a pool with an audible slap, the one that puts you through an entire day of physical activities until you catch a massive cramp in your thighs. It is the confidence gained through doing the things that scare you, that make you stay up at night. It is the confidence you gain when you can look back and say “I made it through that” and look forward and think “If I made it through that, I can make it through this.” This is the confidence gained from getting punched in the face, eyes watering up, but still never backing down and fighting until the bitter end…or until the bell rings.

So how can someone develop it, that fearlessness that comes from confidence? This confidence of the unfamiliar?

Easy answer. Get punched in the face.

I firmly believe that no matter how hard you train, how hard you internalize or think or plan ahead or even convince yourself of your capability, it will be for nothing if you never attempt it. What’s the point of studying about mountains, and gear, running and hiking all day long, getting into the best physical shape of your life if you never attempt to climb Everest? What’s the point of running miles after miles, swimming miles and miles, and biking even more if you never test yourself with a Triathlon? Sure you’ve come a long way, but if you never really attempted the unfamiliar, what was the point then?

But, you may ask, what if you fail? What if all that hard work was for nothing? What if I could even make it a quarter of the way up the mountain, or if I ripped a muscle? What then?

Easy answer to a serious question: you get back up. You take a breather, a bit of rest, and little stretch, for a second, a minute, an hour, or even a year; doesn't matter how long you take to build yourself back up, but in those seconds or years, you don't forget you took that first step on a 1000 mile journey. That pain of failing is a good type of pain, like soreness from a workout. It will become the pain that helps you push past the burn of your lungs on a long swim; that pain of failure will push you through those early morning workouts and those late night ice baths; that pain of having it slip through your hands will push you to build a better grip. That pain of losing, of letting your mind be defeated long before your body, will eventually evolve into something good: Obsessiveness. You have to be obsessed with progress. You have to be obsessed with building a better YOU in order to serve a better goal. You have to be obsessed with every extra workout, extra mile, extra reps, extra book, extra lesson, and most importantly, you have to be obsessed with that compounding development. You have to be obsessed with never losing to your mind and you have to fall in love—and I mean in love, that love that is pure, put-a-ring-on-it-take ‘em-home-show-your-mama-and-daddy-and-nana-and-dog—with the grind. Confidence and experience through the GRIND is a magical thing that lets people look at you and see only the perfection and never the work. The GRIND is done long beyond what is required and what is the minimum. The GRIND is what makes an average person and exceptional one.

It’s never crowded on that extra mile folks.

Stay Savage.

“The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Department of the Navy, Department of Defense, nor the U.S. Government.”