"Follow your dreams," my parents would always tell me growing up.

My dream was to become a band director and teach high school band/music — to have my own students someday that I could share my love and passion for music with. I went into my freshman year of college in hopes to make these dreams a reality. I started studying Music Education. However, shortly into my freshman year of college, a professor who was going to make or break my time at university killed my dreams.

Never in a million years did I think I wasn't going to be a band director once I set my mind to it. I had an internship, volunteered, committed myself to music and learning all I could, but that wasn't enough. I had my mindset to this dream, except this professor had their mindset to ruining the said dream.

During my freshman year, I was in a hopeless and miserable situation. I continued to convince myself that it would get better, would not going to last forever, and maybe working just a little bit harder would lead to a good outcome. But, no matter what I did to try and fix the situation and my mental health, it still wasn't enough. I was scared to leave the situation because I kept hoping and praying that everything would get better and work itself out. I didn't want to let my family and my high school band director down. If I would have known then what I know now — my loved ones were going to support me no matter — I wouldn't of ever let it get to that point.

It took courage and strength to finally put myself first. I was tired of entering my weekly lessons knowing no matter how hard I practiced and worked that previous week, I was never enough for this professor. Finally, I was sick of feeling like a failure and tired of crying on the phone to my mom every night about how much this one person was making me miserable. I had to stand up for myself. After all, this is my life and degree.

I decided that I needed to get out of that program and focus on myself. I switched majors a few weeks into the second semester of freshman year. However, this professor DID NOT win in the end.

Yes, this professor stole my confidence in myself when it came to playing my instrument, but slowly and surely I have been building this confidence up. So instead of being upset with you for killing my dreams, I want to thank you.

Thank you for helping me realize that I come before anyone else and their expectations of myself. I live life for me, not you.

Thank you for showing me how not to be a teacher.

Thank you for showing me that no matter what I need to treat people with kindness and understand that people can learn and will not always live up to expectations.

But most importantly...

Thank you for killing my dreams because I found my way into a different major that I love just as much as I loved music upon entering my freshman year. Thank you for making my life a living hell, allowing me the opportunity to start over again and thrive with what I am doing.

You may have killed my dreams, but you didn't kill my fire. Plus, I have new dreams now.