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A Procrastinator's Guide To Giant Assignments

Can you leave this to the last minute?

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A Procrastinator's Guide To Giant Assignments
Gabriel D Wilson, DeviantArt

So your teacher assigned you a colossal load of homework. You know the warning that comes with that: “You can’t leave this to the last minute!” Suddenly, you have a choice- one that will determine your fate until the assignment is due. Will you get started right away and spread the work out over several weeks, or will you hear your instructor’s word of caution and think

If you're among the former group, well props to you.

You’ve achieved what many of us never will: organization and probably a good night’s sleep. But that’s alright! Caffeine exists for a reason, and if it’s not to help desperate people push through to their next-day-deadlines, than does it really have a purpose?

So you leave that monstrous assignment off until the night before it’s due, and now you’re looking at a VERY late night at the desk. But have no fear, friend, for you are not alone in this.

When you find yourself staring in the face of certain all-nighters, follow these simple steps.

1. Don’t Panic.

You’ve got, like, 12 hours to the deadline.That’s PLENTY of time! Don’t stress yourself out worrying, that will only make it worse.

2. Make yourself comfortable.

You won’t get anything good accomplished if you are uncomfortable. Take a shower, find the comfiest pajamas you own, get some food, prepare your hot beverage of choice and find the perfect workspace. Don’t worry if this step seems to take a disproportionate amount of time: you need it. Trust me:


3. Get to work.

Alright, it’s work time. Reread the original assignment and double check that you’ve got the requirements right (try not to freak out that there is actually an eight-page requirement instead of the six you were expecting). Find your starting point.


Well, crap. You’ve got nothing. A thorough, detailed search of everything in your memory pertaining to this topic has turned up blank. Ok, don’t panic QUITE yet. Reread your notes, maybe there’s something helpful there.

5. Panic.

OK, now you can freak out. Really let loose here; do whatever it is you do when the world is crashing. Cry, yell or punch something (I’d recommend a pillow and not, say, a wall). Just really let it all out. Let out all of those raw, unbridled emotions.

6. Get it together!

Ok, clearly, crying is not helping very much. From here you have two options. Option one: email your teacher begging for an extension and hope they show you mercy or crank out this assignment. If you choose option one, I applaud you. Have an excellent night sleep.

If you choose option two, well...

...you're going to need more coffee.

7. Start doing the thing, for real this time.

You’ve got this. Just start working, really fast. The quality doesn’t have to be great- at this point, your clock is probably telling you it is an ungodly hour of the night, and any reasonable person is asleep. This is not the time for award-winning work: now is the time for quantity over quality.

8. Finish the thing.



Ok, so it’s not your greatest work. It probably isn’t worth an A, and it’s definetly not going to earn you any extra points from your teacher. But it’s DONE. And that’s most of the battle. Now walk away like the badass you are.

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