Losing a grandparent is unexplainable. Just last year I lost my grandpa to health complications and I got the news that my grandma on the other side has terminal cancer. It's tough news to swallow, but it's just a part of life.

Unfortunately, I wasn't close to my grandmother since she stayed in the Philippines when my parents moved to the United States. Once in awhile, we would Skype, but the conversation never went anywhere other than how are you. Although we weren't that close, she's still a part of my life. My dad is usually a happy go lucky guy and seeing him upset makes me feel terrible for him. I know I have to be there for him and let him know that everything will be okay, but that's hard to do when you don't believe it yourself.

The finality of death never really settles in. Even when they're gone, it still feels like they're still there. I've accepted that my grandpa is gone, but sometimes I have dreams that he's still alive that bring me back to square one. It just hurts. There's no other way to put it. Thinking about him puts a smile on my face, but my heart feels heavy. I miss him every single day.

What terrifies me the most is the health implications their passing has on my family. Their causes of death were all due to health issues regarding the heart and liver which makes my family have increased risks of those issues. A loss of life really gives you a new lease on life. We're all definitely a lot more health-conscious This article is more of a ramble and I apologize for that, but my mind is preoccupied with this situation. Writing this is really helping me process what is happening in my life.