I would definitely categorize myself as a shopaholic. I spend my money as soon as I make it and it almost always goes to clothes (or food). If I'm not at work this summer chances are I'm either shopping or at the beach (where I will then shop at some little boutique). Basically what I'm trying to say is that I have way too many clothes. Still, if you asked my mom, she'd tell you I have all the same things hanging in my closet. Trust me, I can spot the difference, but to her all the black fabric just blends together. Yes, I'm one of those basic girls who only wears black. Of course I own other, more colorful clothing (blue, white, grey) but I always end up wearing something black. What can I say, it's just the color I feel the safest in. Still, the all-black lifestyle has multiple struggles.
1. You can never find that one shirt.
My closet looks like a sea of black cloth, making it nearly impossible to find that one black tank top that's hidden somewhere in between dozens of sweaters and t-shirts. And lets not forget how difficult it is to find your favorite black t-shirt in the drawer. I would try to organize my closet by color but that wouldn't help much.
2. All black in the summer isn't fun.
Even if it's a tank top and shorts, all black is never fun when it's 100 degrees outside. Everyone knows that black absorbs sunlight, making you heat up like a Sterno. It really isn't my fault that they created a heat absorbing color that makes you look ten pounds lighter and hides your flaws! And for those of you who didn't get the memo, sweat actually has its own slimming effect as well. Now I don't even have to go to the gym as often!
3. You always look like you're going to a funeral.
Let's face it, black isn't the cheeriest color, and people love reminding you of that. The amount of times I've been asked if I'm going to a funeral or sitting shiva is ridiculous... can't a girl wear a black dress, black cardigan, and black shoes without being stereotyped? And when people ask me why I never wear colors, I shudder as I remind them that BLACK is a color!
4. Not all blacks are created equally.
There's nothing worse than when your black leggings don't match your black t-shirt. They're both black so you'd think they'd go perfectly together, but unfortunately not all blacks are the same. I find myself holding my shirt fabric against clothes when I'm shopping to make sure they harmonize well. I think I need to start a petition that all manufacturers must use the same black dye as others. I can't even think about the time I THOUGHT my black skirt was the same shade as my shirt only to arrive at the party looking quite mismatched.
5. Sharpies become your best friend.
We've all had that moment of crisis when we find out our favorite black shirt made it in with the whites in the laundry. Damage control is now a must, and you will find yourself coloring your clothing with sharpies more than you'd like. Yes the blacks don't match perfectly (see number four), but it's better than nothing. My family works in the beauty industry so everything has spots of bleach on it. I work at my sister's hair salon, meaning I'm never safe. Whether I'm washing color bowls or mixing bleach, I can never go a day without bleaching some part of my clothing. Luckily, I own quite a few black sharpies for emergencies like this. Maybe I need another petition for Sharpie to make black markers in different shades?
The moral of the story is, there's nothing wrong with the all black lifestyle. Black is dressy, black is easy, black goes with everything, and black will never go out of style. As long as designers continue to make black an option, I will continue to shop with pride.Yes, it has it's ups and it's downs, but nothing compares to the feeling of your favorite black sweater! I'll stop wearing black when they come up with a darker color!
