Slut-Shaming is the act of criticizing a woman for her real or presumed sexual activity, or for behaving in ways that someone thinks are associated with her real or presumed sexual activity.
This social stigma is negatively applied to women and girls who are perceived to violate the traditional expectations for sexual behaviors. Sex. SEX SEX SEX. Why does this word have such negative connotation in today's day and age? For those who strongly believe in their faith in religion, this is not an article to bash you or what you believe in. I am very respectful of the fact that many people are waiting until marriage to be intimate for the first time. This is an article for those who have chosen not to wait, and for those who have ever felt penalized for partaking in a sexual act that they enjoyed...or those who have been accused of participating in sexual activity they did not actually participate in. This is an article for those who have been shamed for enjoying such activities that are simply just acts of human nature.
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1. We're all human
Humans are one of the only species who have sex for pleasure. It's in our nature. Yes, the purpose of sexual intercourse among all species is to reproduce, but for us humans and a few lucky mammals, IT FEELS GOOD. We are such emotional, passionate creatures and this is just one of the many ways we express our emotions and passions. Massages feel good, so we get them. Sex feels good, so why is everyone getting shamed for something they enjoy and that feels good for them?!?! It may not be your personal preference, but if it's someone else's and they're having it, don't shame them for what makes them feel good.
2. Slut-shaming is counterproductive for men.
Nine times out of 10, boys (no, you're not men if this applies to you) are the ones who take part in slut-shaming. It's very easy for a guy to go around and talk about how much of a slut a girl is, even though he slept with her last week...and her best friend the week before. PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: IF YOU'RE CALLING A GIRL A SLUT, SHE WON'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU. IF YOU'RE CALLING A GIRL A SLUT, NO GIRL IS GOING TO WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU (even if it's not them you're calling the slut...'cause next week it will be). So, guys, if you're trying to get into a girl's pants, stop using the word "slut." Otherwise you'll be making nice with yourself and only yourself every weekend until you're 40.
3. We all release stress in different ways.
At the end of the day, all of us do something to relieve the many stressors of our lives. Some of us pour a glass of wine, some throw back a few shots, some put on a face mask, some spark a blunt, some laugh with friends...and, HEY, here's a wild one for ya, SOME HAVE SEX. Wow! Crazy! Sex? YES. SEX. If it makes them feel better and they can actually get someone into their bed after a shitty day, well damn...more power to you, girl. No one gives you crap for putting on a face mask or hitting the bottle...no need to give someone crap for the way they de-stress.
4. The double-standard
This article isn't only about guys slut-shaming girls; girls aren't 100 percent innocent either. I've experienced girls slut-shaming other girls first hand, and regardless of your gender, it's not OK. HOWEVER, I do feel quite passionately about the good ole' double-standard that exists in today's society. Sure, boys, go out, take a different girl home every weekend, get praised by your buddies for it and never look that girl in the eye ever again, whatever. You got yours and that's all you care about. Now tell me why the girl gets called the slut in this situation? Rumors then start about how the girl's a slut with a bodycount over 400 blah blah blah...UH, HELLO? That was the fourth girl in two weeks that the guy brought home and he got PRAISED for it. Whether you're a girl or a guy, doing it with a girl or a guy, you're both doing the same thing; you're having sex. So why does it make it OK for guys to screw whoever they want, no questions asked, while the girl walks around ashamed of herself for doing something she wanted to do? Good question, Kendall. Hopefully one day it will be answered. Hopefully one day we won't have to ask ourselves this question anymore.
Sex includes a variety of things. Whether you're doing it by yourself or with someone else, whether you're having sex or not, at the end of the day it does not shape who you are. We all have our own preferences and beliefs, all of which are 100 percent respectable, but as long as those who are having sex are having safe and enjoyable intercourse with consent from all parties, then what the hell is the big freaking deal? So, mind your own. Let people live. Stop judging and STOP SLUT-SHAMING.
