Upon talking to my mom and catching up with my family on the phone last week, something was said that made my jaw drop lower than it probably ever has in my entire life. I listened in shock as my mother told me that my sister was picked up for a date earlier in the day, and the boy did not come to the door to pick her up. Instead, he sent her a text message from the drivers seat of the car, and did not feel the need to bring himself to the door to meet my family. "And you actually let her go out with him?" I interrupted my mom. And then, I realized, this is nothing out of the ordinary for the millennial generation. The culture we live in today is one based off of questions and uncertainty within relationships, so people don't find the need to go the extra mile with pre-relationship actions that were formerly ordinary. And this needs to end.
Instead of "dating", relationships today take up one of a few common forms. The first one is "talking". "Talking" is commonly referred to as frequently texting or snap chatting someone, or talking to them in person. It is typically what was formerly known as getting to know a crush. Talking presents relationships in a no strings attached manner, but also provides relationships with no certainty at all whatsoever. The common problem with "talking", is that more often than not, one person will cut off communication randomly, with no explanation at all. This often leaves the other person wondering what went wrong, and what is wrong with them. Obviously, this is not a good relationship domain in today's culture, and can leave people with many, many confidence and trust issues.
Another infamous form of relationships today is the "thing". Not to be confused with "friends with benefits", (to be explained in the next paragraph) a "thing" in today's generation typically refers to two people who like each other and are hooking up. However, the catch is that this is all done unofficially. So the two people can say things and act as though they're in a relationship with each other, but cannot get mad at each other if something goes wrong. For instance, if the guy is "talking to" other girls, the girl he has a thing with cannot get mad at him, because they're unofficial. And if the girl hooks up with another guy, it can't matter or mean anything, because these two were never official. Also, like "talking", if one person cuts off ties with the other person, it doesn't matter, because the two were never official. Good luck if you are in this type of relationship and catch feelings, because more often than not, the feelings will be shot down, and again, leave many people with confidence and trust issues.
The third common form of a modern day millennial relationship is the dreaded "friends with benefits." This is without a doubt, the most risky relationship, and the worst idea that two people could have. This relationship is when two good friends use each other for the physical aspect of a relationship. This is all fun and games until one person catches feelings, which almost always happens. Once that happens, it's all "you knew there was no strings attached," or "I warned you that I don't feel the same." This relationship type is the key to a massive heartbreak, and like usual, confidence and trust issues.
So what is the issue here? People aren't actually dating. At all. In fact, people are extremely unclear about their feelings and what they want, leading to confusing "relationships". When our parents and grandparents were younger, it was black and white: dating and not dating. The people who were dating would go out of the way for their significant other; coming to the door to pick up their date, bringing them flowers, offering constant support, etc. And the people who weren't dating would not play mind games. It was written in black and white if there was nothing between the two.
It doesn't surprise me that my sister's "date" did not come to the door to meet my parents. They more likely than not are not established as a couple, and there is no need in millennial culture's eyes to go up to the door to retrieve a person if there is no official label on the couple.
This needs to end. It needs to go back to how it was before. People need to start dating again; coming to the door, buying the other person flowers, and surprising them. This generation is lacking manners and common gestures when it comes to relationships. This is ultimately leading to more trust and confidence issues in other people than ever before, solely because the person does not think they're good enough.
Take some action. Be a part of ending common hookup culture and bringing back dating culture. Reduce trust issues in others, and work to give relationships a good name. One thing's for sure, I will do everything in my power to make sure my little brother always goes up to the door to pick up the girl, and more importantly, does not play any mind games with her. Plain and simple, go on dates and be clear about your feelings. I promise, the results will 100% be worth it in the end.
