I grew up around a certain breed of boys: boys that aren’t just common in my hometown, but everywhere. These are the boys that knock you down for not shaving your legs or wearing makeup every day (or for wearing too much makeup, let me know how that makes sense). The ones who have misogyny so deeply ingrained in them from past generations that they can’t wrap their head around you being able to make decisions for yourself. The ones who still believe, despite millions of women proving them wrong, that men can do things that women can’t.

Recently, I’ve had so many straight girlfriends of mine coming to me with their romantic troubles. After sitting with them for hours and going over everything that happened, I feel like the only thing I can’t ever stress enough is that it’s not their fault. They fall for the people who convince them that they’re crazy for caring. Let me tell you how sick I am of hearing that. It’s not okay to go out and do whatever you want without any regard for someone and then accuse them of being crazy for caring.

Stop perpetuating this idea that women are hysterical as soon as they don’t agree with something you’re doing. If a man starts texting a woman while she’s out asking where she is, he’s just caring. If a woman does it, she’s hysterical. This is just not true and the endless cycle of doing something hurtful then blaming the woman for her emotions needs to end. If you contribute to this perpetuation you need to correct your behavior, it’s as simple as that. Listen. Empathize. We’re human, we’re supposed to do it. It is not okay to let girls grow up thinking that they can’t say anything without being chastised. I’ve met many men who are mature enough to realize this, so every other man can follow in their footsteps.

I’m not going to deal with hearing the statement “boys will be boys” anymore. I just won’t have it. Boys will be boys if they’re permitted to keep acting like children and aren’t taught to be adults. Women don’t have to sit back and wait for men to act right because “that’s just how they are”. That’s not how they all are, so I’ll find myself someone who has enough decency and respect to act the way they should, thanks!

I’m going to go ahead and say the scary word—FEMINISM! Somewhere, there’s an old man calling me a liberal communist, because you know, it’s such a crazy idea that women should be treated the same as men are treated! (Note my sarcasm, I beg you.) A big step in the right direction is educating yourself on what feminism actually is. A feminist is simply someone who believes women are equal to men. It’s not a scary word, strong women aren’t scary. But the people who have these misogynistic values of what a woman has to do will now do exactly what I’m calling them out for: call me crazy, call me a radical feminist and say I don’t shave my armpits or something equally immature. Fun fact, I’m not crazy, I am a feminist, and I actually shave my armpits because I want to do it, not because you think it looks great. If women being confident in themselves and understanding that they can do anything they set their minds to intimidates you, I can assure you most of them don’t care.