Society developed a habit of continuously growing to accept new norms. The acceptance of what the majority considers 'other' transcends the struggle over political and legal boundaries that marginalized populations have experienced throughout the years. A major hurdle in our way, as a society, is the confrontation of our own ugliness-- the tendency to keep a victim's bruises in the dark and to erase the significance of abuse. Approximately every nine seconds, a woman in the United States is assaulted or beaten. Nearly 20 people, men and women, are physically abused every minute by an intimate partner. Abuse neither starts nor stops there.
Abuse loops into itself in a cycle of psychological, physical, and sexual assault. Abusers will often begin an abusive relationship with psychological warfare. Targets can include romantic partners, household members, or even friends. An equal share of women and men, around 40 percent, have experienced at least one form of coercive control from a romantic partner through their lifetime and nearly 50 percent of both men and women have experienced at least some psychologically aggressive behavior from their partner. Signs of this form of abuse are wide spanning, but include harmful behaviors like continuously putting you down in front of others, not respecting boundaries, treating you like a child, forcing you to "get permission" to do things, treating you as if you're inferior to them, being unable to laugh at themselves, blaming others for their actions, not showing empathy or caring about your thoughts/needs/feelings, and more. Nobody in the roles above should treat you like that. They are not your parent, caretaker, or superior.
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While psychological abuse doesn't leave physical scars or bruises, it is still significant and should be stopped. This insidious form of abuse increases the trauma from other forms while it by itself causes long term damage to a victim's health, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Psychological abuse is considered a stronger predictor of P.T.S.D. than physical abuse among women. Additionally, those experiencing psychological abuse are more likely to report poor mental and physical health, even logging more visits to the doctor.
Despite intimate partner abuse dropping 67 percent since the establishment of the Violence Against Women Act in 1994, one in three women and one in four men are subject to physical violence from a partner during their lifetime. Additionally, approximately only half of this violence is reported to the police. The N.C.A.D.V. provides these statistics and the statement, "Intimate partner physical abuse is not bound by age, socioeconomic status, race, ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion or nationality; it exists in all communities... Physical abuse is a tool of control and oppression and is a choice made by one person in a relationship to control another." This is the threat that we are dealing with. We cannot just accept that it has gotten better.
Sexual abuse is equally horrifying to look at statistically. A C.D.C. survey on sexual violence reported that one out of five women and one out of 71 men have been raped at some point in their lives. If you walk into a classroom on any college campus, there will most likely be a rape victim; however, as seen by the recent Brock Turner verdict, it is extremely difficult for the victims of sexual assault or abuse to seek justice. Many cases just aren't reported, of those that are fewer go to trial, and only a handful of cases that go to trial end in a guilty verdict or any significant sentence. The culture surrounding rape in this country resounds with false arguments against the victim of the crime. Women are told that they brought it upon themselves and men are told that they can't be raped at all. This form of abuse is a dark place wherein the men and women involved cannot easily find help out of fear of their partner or out of apprehension of the authorities not helping in their time of need.
Next fall, I'll wake up and go to school. Thousands of students will mirror my actions and do the same. Thousands of students will be swimming in the aftermath of psychological, physical, or sexual abuse. Thousands of students will still be in the deep waters of pain stemming from their partners, friends, or roommates. The world is changing around us and if we don't keep up, we will be left behind. We have to strive to be better for our society, refusing the stigma placed on our bodies and souls in these situations, leaping forward into a brighter day. Let's stay aware and do anything in our power to help the people affected by these circumstances. While they are victims of a crime, they are not purely defined as such. We are all individuals.
If you need help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or go online to DomesticShelters.org.
