This idea that texting is harmful to true communication isn't a new one. I'm sure we've all heard rants from older generations about how we need to get our noses out of our phones and look around. However, as I witness the people around me and observe my own relationships, I continue to realize just how detrimental the crutch of texting is.
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(Photo via W Magazine)
Texting is a great way to make plans, keep in touch without the time commitment of a phone call and share a quick thought when the moment arises. However, texting is also a great way to avoid confrontation when issues come about.
There is a reason why we tend to avoid difficult conversations in person. Confrontation is messy; no one enjoys that. But what I see happening in my own life and in the lives of those around me is our fear of addressing things in person. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten the "Sorry, I didn't mean to..." text message, minutes after leaving someone's presence. Why is it that hiding behind a screen gives us this new-found courage to speak up and apologize/argue/address issues? Messaging is a security blanket we hide behind, because we know that we can perfectly formulate our thoughts and carefully craft every word. There's no pressure in the moment. But at some point, we lose the ability to have real, meaningful, sometimes difficult conversations.
When you don't have to look someone in the eye while you talk to them, there's a disconnect. When you don't have to watch them react to your words, you don't worry as much about their reaction. In cases of heated conversations, we hide behind the shield of texting because we can say precisely what we want to, without the backlash of having to see how that person takes it. All of a sudden, we have the boldness to say what we think, when we probably wouldn't be so forward in person. This is exactly the problem in cyber-bullying. But whether the things said in the text message are positive or negative, I'm finding that those sorts of topics don't often come up in face-to-face communication.
(Photo via Pinterest)
I get it: talking things out in person can get sticky. But I'm sick of having "deep" conversations with a screen. When you have difficult conversations in person, you don't get the luxury of thinking over every word first, and you may stumble through your thoughts. It can be pretty awkward. For myself, I know that I have a hard time expressing just what I'm feeling or thinking, especially if it's not the most pleasant message. I tend to tip-toe around what I want to say for a bit, and it may take me five times to get it out right. However, doing those sorts of things in person is the only way to fully engage with the other individual, and show them how much you care about the topic. Stop hiding behind a phone when you need to say something important. And maybe if you would be uncomfortable saying in person what you would text, you need to reevaluate what you're saying and maybe the relationship entirely.
So the next time you need to apologize, decide to be "just friends," call someone out on an issue, address a concern, or confess some deep emotion, the only text you should be sending is, "When can we meet up?"
