As young girls, we become familiar with fairy-tales such as Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White. In all of the named fairy-tales, there are numerous tragic trials and tribulations that keep two characters from happiness. In the end, a prince and princess get married and live happily ever after.

Fairy-tales such as these make us believe in miracles and finding true love.

As we transition into adulthood, we discover that finding love, in reality, isn’t how the books/movies made it out to be, but that doesn't mean it is impossible. It is much more difficult than foot matching a slipper and getting married right after or meeting someone for the first time and immediately falling in love with each other.

In the real world, feelings often go unnoticed or are hidden, or love is simply one-sided with one person desperately holding on and another letting go. People lie, cheat, lose feelings, give up, change, betray, use others, take advantage of others and much more.

We learn this the hard way, whether we are a victim or the opposite.

In my case, I'm not the victim, but I was in love and suffered from the consequences of my actions. I would never have dreamed that my ‘Prince Charming’ would be someone I went to high school with, that is overly obsessed with shoes, and drives a Ford. Someone that can be described as one in a million.

With that being said, it is not surprising that I messed it up.

It started out as the usual asking each other for a piece of gum or him sliding up to send a flirty comment on my Snapchat story. There were hardly any conversations between us outside of a classroom.

Freshman year, I was waiting to go back to my dorm after the first day of my classes when he unexpectedly approached me and another person. A conversation began and the rest is history.

From that day on, our friendship got tighter and soon we were talking. We saw each other every Monday and Wednesday, and occasionally, a few other days every so often.

We were never more than friends because I betrayed him two times. My selfish actions caused him to lose faith and trust in me which caused a lot of pain and grief for me.

Despite my almost constant begging, he never gave me another chance. I can't say that I don't blame him because I don't deserve another one. It was then that I realized what I had right in front of me and how badly I needed to change my ways.

I never knew what love really was until I met him, and I never knew what it was like to need someone so bad until I lost him.

After all that happened, I still fell harder for him with every day that passed because we decided to stay friends.

The cliche jittery feeling in your stomach, tingly feeling all over your body, and take-your-breath-away kisses came to life with him. He made me feel safe and secure, as well as cared about and worthy. He was all I could think about.

I loved him and everything about him: his dark and lustrous hair, how deep his voice would get when he laughed too hard, his eyes, lips, smile, and mostly his love for God.

I loved hearing about new shoes that he wanted, even though I acted like I didn't, or shoes that he bought and couldn't stop talking about or showing off. (When he got Yeezy's he was more than annoying but it was adorable at the same time.) I loved how it felt to be held by him. I loved all of his flaws and imperfections. I loved him because he made me laugh more than any person ever has.

I loved him because, for the first time in a long time, I was genuinely happy. A smile didn't have to be faked around him. I loved him because he made me feel like nobody ever has.

I could see a future with him.

Today we are still friends, but that doesn't mean that I don't get the same feelings that I did in the beginning.

It doesn't mean that my heart doesn't feel like it's falling out of my chest every time he is in my presence because I know that he will never be mine.

It doesn't mean that I don't have to fight back tears every time I hear his voice.

It doesn't mean that it's easy being around him or having a class with him.

It doesn't mean that it's easy hearing him talk about his new shoes or hearing him say my name.

It's not easy at all. If I could redo everything with him, I would in a heartbeat. I would do and make everything right.

At the end of the day, I still can't picture myself with anyone else. Trying to move on is a struggle. Being his friend does not help, but at the same time, I'd rather have him in my life as something rather than nothing at all.

I know that God will never give us more than we can handle, and if it's meant to be, it will be when God wants it to be. God has a plan, even if it isn't your desired fairy-tale.

One day we will understand why it never worked out with anyone else. The best thing to do is leave all your troubles and worries for God to handle and have faith that everything will get better.