Local news authorities have reported that a student at Rollins College has suffered from a severe mental breakdown post-syllabus week. We're told that this student is a senior suffering from approaching academic deadlines, empty job applications, résumé trauma, incomplete cover letters, the dark cloud of student loans and worst of all, finding time to have a life!
From what we can concur this breakdown was bound to happen. In between keeping LinkedIn updated, working part-time jobs, writing a thesis, being President of the Overachiever Honor Society and liking pictures of cute animals on Instagram, where is there even time to breathe, order Dom's or even take a selfie?
But how do you cure the tortuous disease of seniordom? Well, take some advice from a non-certified media major who's also graduating and on the brink of a meltdown herself!
Forget what the heck a "social life" is.
Club nights, solo cups and frat parties? What a thing of the past. Your new favorite club is Club Olin featuring overpriced Starbucks coffee. But hey ladies and gents are free till midnight, every night. Anyways, you hardly recognize the people when you do get the chance to go out.
Do you even go here?
Replace that beach swimsuit with an actual suit and a firm handshake.
Spring breakers, tough luck. It's not all about that cute bikini top or those ripped abs anymore. It's all about that suit and tie. Club dresses with a blazer don't count either, girls. And no more "double fisting," you need to keep at least one hand open and be ready to network at any moment.
Hey, let's connect via LinkedIn!
Delete Tinder.
Let's face it, folks—you ain't got time for games or romance. Focus on you! Or in the case you have already found your Troy Bolton, have your S.O. find scholarly resources for your 28-page thesis on "Dating in Contemporary Society."
Not today, John!
Break out the sweatpants.
The less you have to think about your wardrobe or what you're going to wear to the next party, the more time you have to cry about your final group project that everybody else seems to have forgotten about. Plus, sweats are comfy and nobody can tell you're gaining the "senior 15" from all the caffeine you've been intaking and gym time you've lost.
Ain't nobody got time for designer clothes!
Buy multiple boxes of tissues.
Because you'll cry more than you did this whole semester once you finally walk that stage and get your diploma. You'll think about how much you'll miss your friends and the place you call home and you won't be able to hold it in. But mostly, you'll be so proud that you made it! You survived and are finally ready to take over the world!
Just don't do anything stupid.
Being a senior in college is hard, but you can do it. And hey, your friends are in the same boat as you! So even if you're not out partying and "having the time of your life," you'll remember those all-nighters you pulled in the library with your closest pals even more.
Good luck seniors, I'm right there with you! Soon you'll get to say...
