I'm Pretty Good For Someone With A Disorder | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

I'm Pretty Good For Someone With A Disorder

Backhanded comments are not encouraging.

17
I'm Pretty Good For Someone With A Disorder
Raicheal Harper

I work hard at the things I do. I work hard not only because I feel the need to, but because I want to do things right. I listen to instructions, ask questions, and try my best to help others that might need it, even though I often find myself questioning what is going on around me. I don’t need someone peering over my shoulder and raising an eyebrow at how I’m getting things done. And I especially don’t need somebody to comment, “Oh wow, you’re not doing so bad for someone with ADHD.”

Seriously, why would you think that’s an okay thing to say?

It’s such a backhanded comment. Yes, I have ADHD. Yes, I would like to be open about it. No, I do not think people should expect less of me because of it. I am still a human being. I am still a person. I have goals and I have expectations. I might have to go about some things differently and take more time getting them done, but I’m not doing it to waste someone’s time and I’m not showing frustration as a signal that I want to give up. I have been in situations before where I have explicitly asked for help multiple times, only to be given the same vague instruction repeatedly, which is a careless way of “helping” somebody. It shows that you believe your time is more valuable than mine and that you don’t really care if I understand something or not. I’ve also had these same people see how I have developed coping skills for following the steps they failed to help me learn and make that absolutely insulting comment stated above.

And to top it all off, this usually comes after me confiding in them about my disorder. I don’t tell people about it very often because I am truly afraid that people won’t expect much from me due to damaging stigmas that come with having ADHD. Or, worse than that, they won’t believe that I truly have ADHD and I’m only saying that to make excuses for things that might happen in the future, like lateness or forgetting. Sometimes I tell people that I struggle with math because of my ADHD, as that is what it showed when I was tested a few months ago. Not all people with ADHD struggle with math as I do, but for me it was very clear on my results that it was not my strong suit whatsoever. And just because I tell you this as you are looking over my shoulder at the page full of notes and numbers that you would personally deem unnecessary and excessive, does not mean that you can applaud me for doing so well for someone with my disorder. How about I’m doing okay period? How about telling me I’m getting the hang of it? How about anything that doesn’t involve you throwing my disorder back in my face under the guise of a cheap, plastic gold star covered in lint because it was buried deep within the pocket of your jeans? The amount of flattery I felt from that comment was astounding -- as there was not any.

I mean, could you imagine telling someone, “You’re pretty good -- for someone with a disorder!”?

I want people to see what I’m capable of. I want people to see that I care about the things I do and I want to do them right. I want people to know that I can do anything that anyone else can. I want people to see that it might take more time, but I’ll be working just as efficiently as the person next to me once I’ve got it down. I want my disorder to be an afterthought when it comes to my accomplishments. It’s a slightly difficult relationship to have, because I want awareness for my disorder, but I also don’t want to be labeled as a someone that can’t be relied on when I am up front about it (once again, nasty stigmas come in to play here).

Most of all, though, I don’t want you to see my disorder as something that holds me back. I don’t see it that way and neither should you. So, please don’t make comments that imply that. Thank you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

A Few Thoughts Every College Freshman Has

The transition into adulthood is never easy

3685
Mays Island
Courtney Jones

Today I started my third week of college at Minnesota State Moorhead. I have survived welcome week, finding my classes on the first day, and being an awkward loner in the dining hall. Even though I have yet to be here for a month, I have already experienced many thoughts and problems that only a new college student can relate to.

Keep Reading...Show less
college

"Make sure to get involved when you're in college!"

We've all heard some variation of this phrase, whether it came from parents, other family members, friends, RAs, or college-related articles. And, like many clichés, it's true for the most part. Getting involved during your college years can help you make friends, build your resume, and feel connected to your campus. However, these commitments can get stressful if you're dealing with personal issues, need to work, or aren't sure how to balance classes and everything else going on during the semester.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

9 Reasons Why Friends Are Essential In College

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

1873
Bridgaline Liberati and friends
Bridgaline Liberati

In college, one of the essential things to have is friends. Yes, textbooks, a laptop, and other school supplies are important but friends are essential. Friends are that support system everybody needs. The more friends you have the better the support system you have. But you also have someone to share experiences with. And don’t settle for just one or two friends because 8 out of 10 times they are busy and you are studying all alone. Or they have other friend groups that do not include you. Don’t settle for just one or two friends; make as many friends as you can. After the first couple of weeks of college, most friend groups are set and you may be without friends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

The Power of Dressing Up

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

1419
sneakers and heels
Sister | Brother Style - Word Press

For a moment your world is spinning. The phone alarm has just scared you awake and you’re flooded by daunting thoughts of the day ahead. You have three assignments due and little time to work on them because of your job. You’re running late because you’ve hit snooze one to many times after yesterday’s long hours. You dizzily reach for a hoodie, craving its comfort, and rush for a speedy exit, praying you will have time to pick up coffee. Does this sound familiar?

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

11 Signs You Live At The Library As Told by 'Parks And Recreation'

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

1295
brown wooden book shelves with books

Finals week is upon us. It is a magical time of year during which college students everywhere flock to the library in attempt to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in only a week. For some students, it's their first time in the library all semester, maybe ever. Others have slaved away many nights under the fluorescent lights, and are slightly annoyed to find their study space being invaded by amateurs. While these newbies wander aimlessly around the first floor, hopelessly trying to find a table, the OGs of the library are already on the third floor long tables deep into their studies. Here is a few signs that you may live in the library, whether you'd like to admit it or not.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments