If I had a dollar for every time I've heard the phrase "you're really pretty for a bigger girl," I'd be rich. And I wouldn't have to survive off of cheez-it's and sour patch kids. I don't know if any of you have ever heard that phrase ... but what if I told you "wow, you're really pretty for an average sized girl" or "dang, for such a skinny girl, you're actually really pretty." It doesn't make sense, does it? Here are a few other phrases that I've heard in my lifetime that I think you should never, ever say again and I should never, ever have to hear again.
1. "You're really pretty for a bigger girl."
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*Major Eye Roll* Why do I have to be pretty for a big girl? Would I not still be pretty if I were a smaller girl? This phrase, though it probably isn't meant to be rude or hurtful, is, in fact, rude and hurtful. Just tell me I'm pretty and leave my weight out of it. Beauty and weight, contrary to what you hear, are not dependent on each other.
2. "You dress so well for your body type."
WHAT EVEN DOES THIS MEAN?! I get the meaning behind this phrase, I guess. These people are usually referring to other "big girls" who wear clothes that are too small or too tight or even too big for them, thus making them not look put together or aware of their body type. But, the same thing could be said of anyone of any size. Dress for the body you have, not the body you want. You can simply leave it at, "I love your style!" Plus, if Cady Heron can wear what she wants, then so can I.
3. "I bet you're really funny, huh?"
As a matter of fact, I am. But, what does that have to do with my weight? Again, you can simply leave it at, "wow, you're hilarious!" I don't have to be big, skinny, or average to be funny.
4. "Are you sure you want to eat that?"
I don't judge you for eating chicken nuggets and french fries, so don't judge me for eating chicken nuggets and french fries. If I make the conscious decision to eat what I want, then you have no place in telling me what I should and shouldn't eat. You are not in control of my body and what food goes into it. Just eat your chicken nuggets and let me live in peace with mine.
5. "I doubt you work out, but that's okay."
Just because I'm a bigger girl doesn't mean I eat like a pig and that I wallow around in my bed all day instead of being productive and hitting the gym. I'll work out with the best of them (even when I hate cardio day) and honestly, I don't care what you think. I may not look like you but, trust me, I'd rather look like me.
6. "You are not fat/big!"
Don't try and save my feelings by telling me lies. I know what I look like. I know what my body looks like naked. [P.S. I actually don't think I'm fat, so ... ] I see the things about my body that I hate that you never will. Sure, I'm flattered that you say that but don't say it unless you truly mean it. Be real with me, I appreciate that much more. Don't be mean, but be real.
7. "You're beautiful no matter what size you are."
You're absolutely right about that. But, sadly, this phrase usually indicates that even though I'm a beautiful big girl, I'd be even more beautiful if I wasn't big. Again I will say this, beauty and weight are not dependent of each other. You are beautiful despite what your body looks like simply because of who you are.
8. Don't refer to any part of my body as "fat" or "wide."
I don't care what you are talking about in reference to a bigger girl's body. If you're saying something about her body is "fat" (even in a good way) .... just don't. Unless, it's phat with a P-H. Wink! (; And wide hips? Yeah, we know. Back off.
Now, don't take my word on this but I'm sure I'm not the only girl out there that would love to never hear these phrases again. Society has brainwashed so many of us (myself included) into believing that your weight is a representation of who you are as a person and as a defining characteristic of your beauty. I don't care what you think of me but at least be cognizant of the words that are coming out of your mouth. And above all, just be a genuine, decent human being.
